I am not the kind of person who lies — unless, of course, I am lying to myself.

Things like "I'll go to the gym tomorrow morning," and "I'm gonna save money," are among the biggest lies. And, there's a variety of others I tell myself to pretend I have my life together.

1. "I am so done with guys"

I've already told myself this on five separate occasions this week.

2. "I'm not getting fat, I'm just bloated"

Is it possible that i've just been bloated since coming to college? Maybe ill drink more water and cut out gluten. That will fix it.

3. "I need another drink"

I say this one as I trip over nothing on my way to the bar.

4. "You can totally wear last nights makeup to class"

My mascara is smudged everywhere and my hair looks like a bird's nest. Maybe this is why no one sits next to me.

5. "Hot Cheetos aren't that bad for you"

I mean they have been known to send people to the hospital for eating too many, but they have protein in them and protein is healthy.

6. "No one can tell I haven't washed my hair"

I'll wear a hat. No one will know I haven't washed my hair since last week.

7. "You can go another week without doing laundry"

Until I end up getting stuck wearing pink fluffy socks to the gym.

8. "I am not getting too drunk tonight"

If I say I'm gonna "take it easy tonight" because I have a lot to get done tomorrow, expect to carry my lifeless body home at 2 A.M.

9. "I'm not skipping any of my classes"

I say this one at the beginning of every quarter, and by the end, I'm staying in bed until 3 p.m. and acting like a mom who works from home.

10. "I have nothing to wear"

I say this as I stare at a closet full of clothes, then use it as an excuse to break into my friends' closets.