Recently, I was asked the question, “How can you be friends with a conservative?” The person was truly baffled by the idea that an overly opinionated liberal could maintain a healthy friendship with someone with such polar opposite opinions and values. This is one the greatest issues that liberals create for themselves: The liberal bubble. The liberal bubble is an echo chamber where many progressives find themselves only speaking to people of the same, or similar, ideologies.
The perspective from the liberal herself, Samantha Frost.
We, as liberals, have a tendency to preach diversity and acceptance for all, yet we choose to blatantly be hypocrites and not apply this to anyone with different opinions than us. We just simply ignore our hypocrisy and dismiss conservatives. Maybe it's because it's frustrating to be around people with different opinions, or possibly it could come from disgust. It is silly, though, to expect change in our society but very few liberals are willing to create the relationships necessary to create dialogues that lead to change. It is much better received to talk to a friend about why their opinions are hurtful to others or simply wrong in your opinion than it is to convince a stranger on the bus who looks like they are probably a Republican.
We use ignorance as a way to dismiss people instead of as an opportunity to change perspectives and create change in our society. We claim to hate ignorance, yet when faced with the challenge of looking past someone's political views, we dismiss them because all conservatives are horrible people. Ironically, many liberals are indeed pretty ignorant as to how conservatives view the world. They are dismissed as close-minded, which very well may be true. However, in my experience, it is the lack of someone taking the time to tell them a different narrative than the one they have heard their entire life. Not all conservatives are hateful. Some are simply uninformed and ignorant. Instead of blowing someone off and refusing to speak to someone after a first impression, why don’t we befriend them and have important dialogues in a controlled setting?
I do feel like ignoring a few important things would be irresponsible of me, so let me clarify. When I say conservatives, I do not mean far-right, intolerable assholes who support hate crimes, white supremacy, homophobia or transphobia. I mean the people who are good people but just hold different political views. Intolerant people who are filled with hate do not make good friends. In fact, it is probably healthiest for you to not engage with that person. I also want to take the time to point out that I am a straight, white woman and do hold the privilege of being able to voice my political beliefs (particularly to other white people) without the backlash that a minority may face if in that same scenario.
With that said, it is time to stop demonizing conservatives and begin looking at them as humans, as well. People are more than just our political affiliations, and it is easy to forget that at the end we are all Americans. Diversity makes us stronger and having people of all races, sexualities, gender identities and political beliefs make you a more well-rounded person. Although we may never see eye to eye, it is absurd to look at a person by which party they stand with. Do not allow a few rotten people permanently change your outlook on all conservatives. You will miss out on important dialogues that are a direct change in culture. It is time to start working on changing our society and creating a healthier and safer world for all Americans. We start by creating relationships with people who think differently than us.
The perspective from the leftist himself, Matt Nguyen.
While you may not agree with other ideologies’ ideas, it is important to understand other perspectives and where people are coming from. It’s healthy to have a close circle of friends where you may not agree on everything.
That being said, you are not required whatsoever to befriend people whose ideologies are against yours. While there are many far-right that are xenophobic, racist, etc., there are a few who carry this ideology that may be converted by simply informing them where they are wrong. If you find yourself talking to someone who you may not agree with, simply ask yourself this: Is this person willing to listen to reason? Will they listen to factual evidence? And do they have an open mind? If you find yourself talking to someone who simply won’t listen to facts, then you do not need to waste your time.
It’s understandable that if you identify as a member of a marginalized group of people, you may also be uneasy around certain people. While it is important that you have an open view of the world around you, no one is entitled to your time. If you feel as though you are unsafe talking to someone of a violent ideology, you have every right to avoid people who are against who you are.
The importance of avoiding an echo chamber is critical to learning how the world works, and this goes both ways, as both the right and left tend to only converse amongst themselves. The best way to spread your message is to converse with people who are not informed or may not understand what your ideology stands for.
An open dialogue is the key to real change in the society around you, and this cannot be possible if you demonize everyone who is not on your side -- fascists, nationalists, racists, etc. deserve no time from you, but moderates with a few conservative values are of great value to the cause. Talk to the people you disagree with, and if they are not one track-minded, then you might create some progress.
