Just Because Your Friend Is Queer Doesn't Mean They Like You

Stop Assuming Your Queer Friends Are Going To End Up Falling For You

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none.

180
views

Ever since I came out my senior year, I've encountered bumps of my friendships due to my sexuality. I think people understand gay, lesbian, and bisexual identities rather well. However, there are other members of the LGBTQ+ community that isn't as understood as well.

I identify as pansexual but start using the term queer. Essentially, I don't have a preference if someone identifies as female or male. When it comes to love and relationships, I care about the quality of the person and if I'm getting the love and respect I deserve.

However, to some of my friends, they seemed to become afraid. They distanced themselves in our friendships in fear I would end up falling for them.

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none. You are my friend for a reason. If I liked you, I would honestly be too nervous to talk to you.

It's nice to know to have that kind of self-confidence where you think everyone has a crush on you. That's the attitude to have because you are a pretty great person. However, sorry to break it to you, but you just are not my type.

There is absolutely no reason to cut off a friendship just because you don't understand. Your queer friends would probably like you to ask questions. It can be a sign you care about them and showing support. There is nothing wrong with asking questions either. When you're in class and you don't know anything, then you ask a question. When you are getting to know someone, you ask questions. Even if you knew this person for a while, ask away!

I think there is a stigma of not knowing something and feeling embarrassed. However, it shouldn't be this way. We should embrace the unknown, learn, and grow from it. It's 2019. It's all about being open-minded to differences. We have to do better for the next generation.

Popular Right Now

An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
235347
views

“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

18 'Queer Eye' Quotes That Prove The #Fab5 Are The Most Amazing Humans On Earth

They're smart, funny, and have hearts of gold.

51
views

I never watched the original "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," so when I started watching "Queer Eye" on Netflix, I was not prepared for the range of emotions I experienced. So. Many. Tears. Every. Time.

I am convinced that these five men are five of the purest, most amazing humans in the world. They put aside their fears and insecurities and go into people's homes to help them look and feel better. I think it is important to note that they are going into homes in the south.

Despite what we as a country want to believe, the south is notoriously slow to adopt progressive ideologies. So the fact that five openly gay men are willing to put themselves into situations, in places they may not be accepted, is amazing. And they do it because they have a passion for helping others.

These men change lives. They encourage people to embrace their bodies, talents, and feelings. They help people feel good about who they are now.

Of course, the Fab 5 can't go into every home in the world and shower happiness on us all (though if I ever find a genie in a bottle, this will be my first wish), we can still experience the encouraging, loving, and hilarious words of the Fab 5 from the comfort of our homes.

"You're strong, you're a Kelley Clarkson song. You got this."

Giphy

- Johnathan Van Ness

"You being your true self isn't going to offend anybody. It's very unlikely that people are going to cause you an issue just because you are being yourself. And if they're concerned, that's on them. You're happy."

- Tan France

"When people build up walls, they end up keeping other people out. But they're also keeping themselves in."

Giphy

- Karamo Brown

"I heard a preacher once say, 'Sometimes when you're feeling buried, you're actually just planted.'"

- Bobby Berk

"What I've learned is that living in public life... it's impossible to have everybody like you. No matter what you do."

Giphy

- Antoni Porowski

"When people say, 'You can't teach an old dog new tricks,' it's not true, because you can reinvent yourself and learn new things whenever you want." 

- Johnathan Van Ness

"If my gay black ass from the South could do it, your ass can do it. So, just believe in yourself."

Giphy

- Karamo Brown

"Style is not fashion. Fashion is not trendy after a season. I couldn't give a sh** about fashion. Style is dressing the way that you feel confident and what is appropriate for you, your age, body type."

- Tan France

"How you take care of yourself is how the world sees you. It's OK to have a relationship with yourself."

Giphy

- Johnathan Van Ness

"Don't let that fear hold you. Don't let it hold you any more."

- Karamo Brown

"I want my partner to look at me and think I respect them enough to make an effort."

Giphy

- Tan France

"I'm sending this memo to every guy in the world. Making an effort with your wardrobe doesn't mean you're a wuss. Making an effort means you're serious about the life you want."

- Tan France

"Confidence is sexy. Knowing who you are is sexy."

Giphy

- Johnathan Van Ness

"I never want people to think they are not gay enough, or straight enough. It's so much more about what is in your heart."

- Johnathan Van Ness

"I experienced the hate and the ignorance, and it's scary. I started getting older and refusing to accept that. And refusing to accept the kind of chains that I've been having my whole life. I just wanted to be free."

Giphy

- Bobby Berk

"You can't selectively numb feelings. So if you try to numb the vulnerability, you also numb the joy, happiness, connection. You can't have connection and joy and happiness without vulnerability." 

- Johnathan Van Ness

"I'm never massively concerned about what somebody is wearing, as long as it makes them feel really good about themselves."

Giphy

- Tan France

"Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength. It shows you are in tune with yourself, which is the sexiest thing to men or women."

- Karamo Brown

These five men truly have everyone's best interest at heart. They are kind, considerate, confident, and caring. They go out of their way and out of their comfort zones to help others embrace who they really are.

Related Content

Facebook Comments