This seven part series called “Letting Go” will cover seven topics that we all struggle to let go of at different seasons of our lives. But why do we? Why do we hold on to temporary things when they deteriorate us and make us miserable? The third part of this series will cover toxicity- so without further ado, here is Part 2: Letting Go of Toxicity:

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again and you’ll probably hear me keep on saying it. You are worth more. I say this because I’ve struggled with understanding that myself. I didn’t want to believe that I was worth more than the people who don’t deem me worthy. I am worth more than the difficult situations I face. I am worth more than staying in friendships that are not real and committed. I am worth more than choosing to face the same things with the same people over and over again. I am worth more than sticking around while people mess with my head and lead me on. I am worth more than all of those things and I don’t have to stick around while they happen to me. I am worthy of a King who chooses me every day. I am worthy of friends who love me and value me. I am worthy of the life that the Lord chose for me.

This is the first step.

You need to realize your worth and choose to live in it and embrace it every day.

Now this is not a ticket to become somebody who’s full of themselves and acts like people owe them something in the world. You have to work for some things in your life and most of the time you have to work hard for them. That is a common misconception. Don’t become someone who thinks they should be more privileged than they are. Don’t mistake privilege for worth.

You don’t have to live life with people who don’t want to live life with you.

You don’t have to sit around and wait for a man who isn’t going to commit.

You don’t have to listen to people talk negative about you and you definitely don’t have to live with it.

You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

Hanging on to toxic people affects your health. It affects how you view yourself. It affects everything you are.

You don’t have to let toxic things break you.

You can let go and you can be free.

You are worth more than these things.

When people say discouraging things to you, it can get to your head and eventually you start believing them. You start believing the things they say. But unless these things are full of love and respect and everything that you deserve, don’t listen and don’t let these people into your life to discourage you and break you down.

There is a difference between people who lovingly give you advice and people who are constantly trying to change who you are and telling you that you’re not doing anything right.

There is a difference between people who want to help you and people who want to manipulate you.

Don’t.

Back.

Down.

You are undeserving of this pain and suffering that people try to put you through and you don’t have to let that get to you.

You are also undeserving of the free, matchless and wonderful grace that Jesus has given you, and you know what? You get it anyways. That is what defines you.

You are defined by the love and the identity that you were given, not by the names and the things people try to throw at you.

An even harder thing to let go of than the toxic people in your life is the scars that are a result of the things that they did to you. You can’t fully erase the things that people said to you that hurt you. Especially as women, words hurt! But words that aren’t building up and encouraging simply do not matter.

What contrast is God’s relentless, unwavering, undying love versus toxic relationships.

There are all types of toxic relationships. Maybe you’re facing a romantic relationship that is toxic. Let me tell you that you can do so much better than that. There is a love out there for you that is better than you would have ever imagined. No matter what you may think, someone who is constantly trying to defeat you does not love you. “Love is patient, love is kind…” I know it’s super hard to give up someone that you’ve grown so used to having in your life, but it gets easier. The pain you’re feeling now is just one step in the right direction.

Trust me, I didn’t believe that either less than a year ago, but I do now ;) Maybe I thought I believed that but I didn’t truly believe it in my heart because until I experienced what real, patient love was, I was confused and alone while I was dealing what I thought was real love.

Maybe your boss or coworker is a toxic person and you’re forced to deal with them every day. This might just be one of those situations where “Kill ‘em with kindness.” is relatable. If this is something that you are dealing with on a daily basis, if it’s possible, it might be best to just get out of that situation, because there’s only so much kindness you can show someone before you just become drained and exhausted.

Maybe you’re dealing with a toxic family member. Boy, do we all have those sometimes. Those kinds of situations are really difficult, because they’re family; you’re supposed to stick together no matter what. But I think it gets to the point sometimes where you are almost forced to let go. You can approach them and tell them it is hurting you, but at some point it just gets tiring and let’s face it- pathetic. It’s sad that some middle aged adults can’t act like adults, but that’s just part of life sometimes.

Sometimes holding on to things or people who are setting you back prevents personal growth. If you aren’t achieving your goals and dreams and you’re just kind of coasting through life because of a toxic person. I want to encourage you to let that person go. Understand that you can do the things that you want to with hard work and perseverance. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t.

Whatever and whoever you’re dealing with, I hope that you learn to forgive and forget.

I hope you seek the Lord’s will for your situation.

I hope you understand your worth and you don’t settle for anything else but truth and authenticity.

What joy, what perfect bliss, that we are found in Him.