Let me paint a picture for you: You have known this person for a while, and you have learned they are not to be trusted. They have shown you their true colors. They are mean or have a way of belittling you. They bring a cloud of negativity into your life, or you constantly feel like you have to walk on eggshells to avoid any sort of confrontation or drama with them. OK, do you have a person in mind? Were you like yes, yes, YAS?! Then let me ask you a question: Why is this person a part of your life? Why surround yourself with people you can't truly trust?
The only thing worse than losing a friend is having a friend who sucks. And by "sucks," I mean really sucks the life and happiness out of you.
As I have gotten older, I have decided that I will no longer be affected by these people. I value my true friendships above all else. I know who has my back, and that is all that matters to me. However, I haven't always been at this point. I am a people-pleaser by nature. I have always been a little bothered if I think someone genuinely doesn't like me because I tend to go above and beyond to be nice to everyone. Life has a funny way of teaching you things, and I have learned that some people just don't like someone because they don't want to. Plain and simple. So stop wasting your time with these people. Instead, focus your energy on those who genuinely like you as a person.
So you may be thinking it is impossible to rid yourself of this person. Maybe you think it would just be easier to keep tiptoeing around a toxic relationship. I am here to tell you that this is not the case. The truth is that letting go of someone can be freeing. To know without a doubt that you never have to deal with that relationship will be a weight off your shoulders. Life is too short to spend burdened with false friendships and negativity. You have every right to decide who is worthy to be a part of your life and who has to go. I encourage you to make that decision, cut those ties and breathe fresh air.
Now don't get me wrong — at some point in all relationships, people disappoint you. Friends let you down or hurt your feelings. This is just part of life. However, if this person is not apologetic and their issues are a character flaw that many have noted, they are probably going to keep repeating the offenses. Better to learn your lesson and move on.
Not to toot my own whistle, but I do not consider myself good at many things. I do, however, consider myself a good friend. Sure, I have my faults and failures. I am not perfect, but I am loyal. At some point in my life, I decided that was the kind of friend I deserved in return. By focusing my energy on those who give friendship back, in a real and honest way, my happiness has increased a tenfold.
Take this as a little kick in the booty to do what you need to do to move on with your life. Vow to participate only in genuine relationships. Stop extending yourself to people who do not make an effort. Do not tolerate someone being constantly negative and selfish. This is your life, and if you don't change it, no one else will. Friendships are too valuable to our happiness to allow them to bring anything else.
