Growing up, I always wanted to be older. I couldn't wait to be able to create my own person and express myself completely. I wanted to be like the adults and have jobs so that I could actually have a purpose in life. Being a kid made me feel helpless in society.

I was around 10 when I first shaved my legs because I wanted to know what it was like to be grown. I experimented with heavy eyeliner in 5th grade and burned my hair every day so that it could be pin-straight.

There would be times when my mom would have to pull me aside and tell me to stop wishing my childhood away because, one day, I would be all grown up and only then would it be too late.

For some reason, I felt like I always had to be responsible, probably because I had to be a role model for my younger sister, so I didn't let myself be childish like I should've.

I outgrew my stuffed animals and dolls real quick for razors and vanity, and now that I have the responsibilities of an adult, I wish I could go back to relive a few childhood memories so that I could actually relish in the pureness of it all. I would've let myself enjoy it more.

Recently, I've reconnected with my inner child and I'm letting myself wallow in my youth. Thanks to my boyfriend, who is also my best friend, he has been the main cause of that. I've always taken my life way too seriously until he came along and showed me that it's okay to just let loose and have fun.

I've always cared way too much about how others perceived me which, of course, limited the fun that I could've experienced. After recently allowing my ego to melt away, I've cared about doing more of what I really want to do and less of what others are thinking.