I want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for everything that you have given me in the last four years. Thank you for the amazing friends I have made, and know I will have for the rest of my life, thank you for the memories, good and bad, that I will never forget and always learn from, and thank you, to my sorority, for showing me that I am probably better off without you in my life.

Staring from the beginning, four long years ago, I wanted nothing more than to go to college; to move away from home and make new friends that would last a life time, because I knew the majority of the friends I made in high school wouldn't stick around, I was right. Before I even got to college, I knew that I wanted to join a sorority, so that's what I did. I went through the entire process of recruitment and found my home in the sorority that I slowly fell in love with over the last four years. Once I joined, I immediately received my big, and I slowly came to realize that I didn't have the stereotypical big/little relationship and I was totally okay with that. When I got my big, she was the only one I truly wanted and I knew that she felt the same about me, and that's why we matched so well. We didn't have the conventional big/little relationship that you see in the movies, but who really has that kind of relationship? What I loved about me and my bigs relationship was that we may have disagreements one day, but then the next day we were great friends again, like nothing ever happened. I wouldn't change that relationship for the world, because my big is still one of my best friends to this day, and I know that she is one of the friends that I made that will be around for a long time.

For years, I heard everyone tell me "You get out of this chapter what you put into this chapter", and I do agree with that, but when I look back on my four years in my chapter, I realize that no matter how much of myself I put into the chapter, there wasn't much that I got out of it. Looking back on my time in the chapter, the most important thing that I got out of my chapter, wasn't the lessons that I learned while dealing with the number of girls that are in the chapter, it also wasn't all of the amazing friends that I have made while I went through the years, but I believe that the most important thing that my chapter has taught me over the years, was about myself as a person. This chapter really showed me who I was and who I wanted to become as a person. Looking back on my years in chapter, thinking about who I wanted to become back in 2013 when I joined verses now in 2017 now that I am no longer in chapter, I see that I am not the same person that I was when I first joined, but at the same time, I am not necessarily the person that I wanted to become when I first started either. Being in this chapter has not only changed me as a person in many ways, but it has also made me recognize so many things about myself that I never saw before. At the same time, this sorority has also made me a better person than I was before, and that is something that I am grateful for. My sorority showed me that I am capable of anything if I try hard enough.

Contrary to what people may believe though, being part of a sorority is not all sunshine and rainbows, and that is where I really realized that maybe I am better off without the sorority in my life. I do have to thank my sorority though for many things. Thank you for showing me who I really am, thank you for showing me that people are not always who they say they are, and thank you for making me realize that girls are not made to be around each other as much as a sorority demands them to be. I learned so much in the four years that i belonged to my chapter, and don't get me wrong, I loved it, and it was one of the best experiences of my life, but at the same time, if I could go back and change things about the last four years, I would. Not only would I change things about what I did while I was in chapter, but if I could change the way people treated each other around me, I would. The chapter that I was apart of was an amazing organization and I loved being apart of it, but there were so many things that this chapter could have done so much better. The way that my "sisters" treated each other was not always the nicest and it was recognized by several people, but no one ever did anything about it, because the second you speak about something, you get in trouble, no matter the case. The girls in the chapter that I was a part of treated each other and treated me poorly from day one, and I know that there is no changing that, no matter how much anyone thinks they can change it.

That's life though, that's how people are and there's no changing it. I loved being in my sorority, but there were so many flaws within it, that everyday after my close friends left, all I wanted to do was leave myself, but I knew I couldn't, because I was allowed to until my time was up, and no one should feel that way in something that they love. I have so much thanks for my sorority and everything that it has taught me in the last four years, but at the same time, I also wish that so many things were different, but those things, I can't change anymore.