Dear Past-Self,

Baby, I know you’re struggling. I know it’s hard to adapt to all of these changes, to discover your true identity while trying to live up to impossible expectations. But I promise it gets better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, a hand that will reach for yours and pull you out of this darkness...and that hand is God. Only faith and grace can guide you through this crazy journey called life: it will make you stronger, it will carry you in good times and in bad. So please look up baby, because God sees you and knows what you’re going through and because everything really, truly does happen for a reason. You don’t realize it now, but when you look back you will. So just let go and let God, and know that all of these obstacles now will be blessings and lessons learned later.

Not everyone is going to like you.

And that’s okay. Stop trying to please everyone, because ultimately, the people you are trying to please now will no longer be in your life in a few years or even in a few months. There are going to be some people that you really just can’t please, and that’s okay too. If they can’t like you for the amazing human being that you are, are they really worth your time and effort? Walk past them in your Ugg boots without breaking your stride, and move on with your head held high. You didn’t need them anyway.

Family comes first.

Always. Yes-your parents may seem like your worst enemies right now, but that’s just part of growing up. They do the things they do because they love you and care about you. At this age and stage in life, you really don’t know best. Just listen to what they have to say and really think about what they’re saying. They’ve been through the same things you have, and they’re only trying to help you and make you happy. Stop pushing your family away because you think your friends are cooler and more fun. Friends will come and go, but family will always be there for you. One day, you will regret not spending as much time with your family as you did. PS: your parents can always spot a fake friend before you do.

Boys will break your heart.

You will begin to see boys in a new light now, but don’t get carried away. Boys are dumb, they’re immature, and they have no idea what they’re doing. Don’t put all of your heart and soul into one boy and rely on them for all of your happiness, because chances are, they won’t be the person you end up marrying. There are going to be so many more guys out there that you will meet and maybe even fall in and out of love with, so don’t worry. This one won’t be the last and this one is definitely not “The One” anyway, so stop stressing about it. And also-don’t ever let a boy undermine you or make you feel less than the beautiful girl you are. Don’t ever go along with their games or fall for their tricks. You are worth so much more than that. And if they ever make you feel less than beautiful...leave ‘em and kick ‘em where it hurts the most.

Surround yourself with positive people.

Cut out all of the negativity in your life, because you really don’t need that. Don’t stay in that toxic friendship because you’re convinced that “true friends can make fun of each other…” because that’s not true. There’s a difference between poking fun and constantly putting other people down, and what that “best friend” is doing to you is definitely the latter. True friends support each other, love each other, and are proud of each other’s achievements and accomplishments. True friends want nothing less than for you to be happy-surround yourself with those kinds of people. You will find that you will be so much happier when you get rid of all the negativity, and life will become so much better as a result.

It’s okay to be selfish.

You are going to be faced with decisions in your lifetime that make you question who you really are, and all I can tell you is this: pick what makes you happy. Don’t constantly sacrifice your happiness for the sake of other people; understand the difference between doing what’s best for you and what’s best for others. You are still young, this time right now is all about you and discovering your true self. Don’t waste it putting unnecessary effort into stuff that doesn’t even matter to you. Yes, you should still try to make the people around you happy, but that’s not all you’re there for. In the end, it’s all about you. Live for you and only you.

~~~

I hope this helped you, past-self. Stay strong, I know you can do it. I can’t give you an entire guide to life, but I can tell you that it will get easier. Keep doin’ you and living like a true Proverbs 31:25 young woman.

Love always,