Hey Universe,
As another semester comes to a close, I find myself getting rather frustrated. I love the end of the school year because there are so many events to go to and everyone around me just seems happier. This year, however, I am not feeling the same glee I used to. Why, you ask? My discontent is most likely stemming from the fact that people feel the need to only talk to me about things that involve me having my life together. It's like everyone over the age of 30 has the compulsive need to ask you about your future at some point in a conversation with you, and I just don't know what to do about it.
I know that I am at that point where I should have a relative idea as to what I want to be doing. And I do. Kinda, sorta, probably. To be perfectly honest, at this point in my life I'm not that sure about anything. I'm not sure what I want for breakfast, I'm not sure if I want to wake up early to be productive or sleep late and enjoy my bed, I'm not even sure what color to dye my hair.
I don't know how to balance being a technical adult while still being treated like a kid. I'm still at the age where I have a million dreams that I still believe I can achieve, and I'm still at the point where I have all these opinions that I keep being told I'm not allowed to share. Instagram captions are really important to me, and I never have enough time to go dancing whenever I please.
Sadly, how many likes I get on a photo or the number of shares I have on a post still affects how I view myself, and I'm not quite old enough to fully understand how a curling iron works. I'm not 100 percent sure what I believe in religiously and I don't watch enough movies to even consider being a film minor, but I did that anyway.
I'm no where near half as fashionable as I want to be, and I still have to ask my parents permission before I do things. Do I really sound like someone who should be deciding about their career right now?
As for my future, I'll tell you these three things: I'm not enjoying the anxiety-inducing experience of applying for internships, I don't have a job lined up for me after graduation, and I fully intend on living at home for a while. Outside of that, everything is kind of up in the air and will probably remain there for a long time. Does that freak me out? Yes. Almost as much as people asking me about my future does.
So I am sending this letter to you, universe, because sometimes it seems like you're the only one who's listening. Your capacity is vast and my uncertainty is as well, so I feel like we'd make a great team.
Text me sometime?
Xoxo
