The confusing part about my title is how literal it is. Yes, I had a twin sister. Yes, she died when she was nine years young. Yes, she is still my twin sister. And yes, she is, literally, still alive and with me today.
This letter is difficult for me to write, not because I don't love you or because I don't mean every word I say, but because we aren't the type of siblings who are actively sentimental with one another. In fact, I don't know if we've ever shared an affectionate moment or told one another how much we love and care for each other before. We share a sort of unspoken love, but that doesn't make it any less prominent or significant. However, I do believe in reminding those you love just how much they mean to you, and so here I am, on Odyssey, expressing my love to you, because I know if I did it in person you would just get embarrassed, laugh, and ask if you can borrow my sweater.
As I sit here in bed reminiscing and looking through old photos of us, I can't help but remember the day your organs failed you. At merely nine years young, you were diagnosed with a respiratory infection so rare the doctors said you had a better chance of getting struck by lightning twice. I can't help but wonder what life would be like if you weren't here with us today. I selfishly wonder who I would be if I hadn't grown up with my twin: sharing a room together, playing sports together, looking at colleges together, graduating together.... And then I realize, I don't want to know what that life would be like. I love the life I have now, where I have you by my side every step of the way. I love the life I have now, because I get to shed tears not because you aren't with us, but because of the person you've become.
You hold stronger convictions than anyone else I know, but you are not hypocritical. You are one of the most stubborn and strong-willed people I know, but you are not selfish or unforgiving. You are extraordinarily bright, beautiful, and confident, but you do not hold yourself above others. Essentially, you are one big array of contradictions. But if I had to describe you in one word, the word would be "fighter".
The fight you demonstrated at such a young age as you fought for your life when death seemed inevitable continues to shine from within you. You never fail to fight for those that you love or to stand up for what you believe in. You never let the opinions of others put you down, and you do not mind speaking your mind or standing alone. I can't remember a single time life presented you with a challenge or a problem that you could not overcome and rise above. For that, I admire you. And for that, even though I don't say it often enough, I love you.
I hope you enjoyed this exceptionally sappy and sentimental letter, and I also hope you don't hold it over me. Love you little sis.
