At some point in everyone’s life there is some sort of heartbreak. There is the mild heartbreak that just leaves you missing them for a month or so after you stop talking, and then there is the gut-wrenching, sobbing in the shower heartbreak that takes months, or even years, to recover from. In my case, it took almost a full year.

There is no way to describe the feeling when the person you thought was your soulmate walks out of your life forever. I remember thinking that the world must be falling apart around me, that something like this couldn’t happen on just a normal day. The pain and depression that followed me for almost eight months after was almost too much to bear.

But here I am, two-and-a-half years later and I am happy again. I am here as living, breathing proof to say that it does get better. I know that it feels like you’re never going to smile again and that you have nothing to look forward to, but you will and you do. People say not to let a guy break you, but it’s OK if he does. I was once broken. I was a hollow shell of the person I once was but it has made me the strong, independent woman I am today. Being broken just means you have the perfect reason to start over and become a new, whole person.

Being broken made me grow as a person. I was once too scared to even walk into Target alone but now I am so independent. It has also caused me to value the little things in life and to find positivity in every situation. It took me a long time to be able to do that, but now I’ve realized only someone who has seen how negative life can be has the ability to find the positives in every day.

You also will love again, I have been lucky enough to date two amazing guys since I felt broken and they helped me grow in ways I never thought possible. They taught me that you actually can love again. It might not be the same, but you don’t want it to be the same. Loving each person differently is what gives love its meaning.

You may feel broken right now, and that is perfectly okay. I know that it’s hard for people to understand. Friends that haven’t been through it don’t get it and it’s even hard for your family to understand. But no one knows the relationship like you and him do. You are the only person who understands just exactly what you are going through and how you are feeling everyday. I’m here to tell you, though, I have a pretty good idea. I have been through to what I imagine to have been my personal hell and back, and I still believe in happiness and the prospect of finding true love. So when you feel as though your emotions are ridiculous, and like you may never have a life or love again, just remember, I was once broken, too.