Hey again, I always feel weird talking about you, but I feel like I need to share my knowledge with you so you do not make the same mistakes again with the next girl.

You made me feel so small, but I allowed you to do that to me. I let you influence my life and push me to make the wrong choices, ones that I still struggle with.

I will not let you dictate my life anymore. I will not let myself get to the place you lead me to ever again. I almost lost everything. I almost lost my friends, my family and even worse, I lost myself. I promise myself and everyone else around me that I will never get back to that place again. I will not let someone make me who I am. And never will I allow someone to use me like you did. Never again will I allow myself to become that person again, that liar, the one that made my parents cry and kept me awake at night.

However, there are things I can thank you for. As odd as this sounds, I can thank you a lot actually. Thank you for showing me that I deserve the world, and not just the one you made up for us. I deserve to be happy and to find someone who makes me happy as well. Thank you for pushing me towards someone else that actually treats me like I should be treated. He makes me feel like the only person in the world, makes me feel loved and wanted. Something you never did. When a new game would come out, I and our relationship became second and third best to your little world on the console. How badly I wanted to break that system just so you would pay attention to us and our crumbling relationship. I want to say I regret meeting you and that I wish I would have never said yes to you, but I can’t. You got me to the person that I am and the person I needed to be for the man of my dreams.

This is not a please take me back I miss you letter. Not even close, it’s a letter to remind everyone, including my future self, that we are worth more than how were treated. We deserve to be held and to feel wanted. We deserve to be happy and not have to fake it so it doesn’t start an argument. Please treat the next person the correct way, please make them feel like they’re twenty feet tall instead of very very small.

I’m not going to say it was all bad, in case you ever read this (which I doubt you will since it’s something I love to do). Because some of our relationship was good, extremely fun actually. But the bad outweighed the good. By a long shot. Sometimes you just have to pull yourself out of your own world and see how others feel. I cannot believe that I put up with you as long as I did. I cannot believe I allowed you to treat me like I was a second hand person and wasn’t worth anything.

I’m sorry also. I am sorry that you feel like I let you down or played you, but I didn’t. Unlike you I’m not a cheater and I am not going to make stuff up, but thank you for that. I has helped me gain more confidence in myself to push through anything and to know my worth. You allowed me to know exactly how much I deserved. I hope you find happiness and that you can find a love that makes you want to treat them better than you treated me. I hope the next girl gets all of you and that she doesn’t have to worry about where you are and what you’re doing. I hope she doesn’t break your heart like I did, and I hope you don’t destroy her like you did me.

Thank you for pushing me into the arms of the one I’m with now. He’s perfect in every way you can think of. He’s kind and understanding, he doesn’t force me to do things I do not want to do and allows me to have space and to grow how I need. He is everything you were and everything you never were or could have been.