It’s going to be for a while you know – that something in his eyes that allows her to believe everything he says, neglecting the fact that every bone in her body is telling her not to. No matter how many times she’s told herself he’s not enough and no matter how many times she’s told herself that the best thing to do is walk away. He’s always going to own a piece of her that she won’t get back. It won’t matter how many boys come along offering up their souls just to make hers feel whole again. He’s going to have a way of making her stop in her tracks with one look. The look that she’s been imagining every night when she closes her eyes; that look that she remembers getting whenever she would walk into a room to see him; the same look that she now watches him give her. He’s going to have a hold on her until she finds someone that makes her feel strong enough to break that hold. He’s going to be in the back of her mind for a while, so be kind.
Don’t push her.
Letting you in is hard enough for her as it is. Do not, and I repeat do not try to break down all of her walls in one sitting. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and she wasn’t damaged in a day either. She’s got walls that you don’t even know about surrounding the most vital parts about her because let's face it, no one wants to actively allow themselves to get hurt. If she says she doesn’t feel up to a movie today, don’t take it personal; she’s moving at her own pace.
Reassure her.
You’re both going to get frustrated. You’re going to lay awake at 1 am and go over everything that you said to her that day trying to analyze what she took the wrong way or how differently you could have said something. Chances are, it wasn’t you. More often than not it will be something that she’s fabricated in her head to be a big deal…it’s not. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a dick about it. Let her know that you’re there to talk to her when she’s ready, don’t push.
Be patient.
She’s not going to want to open up at first, at least not the real way you want her to. She’ll answer all of your questions – where her parents are from, what does she do for fun, who are her closest friends – but once you get past the surface conversation, be prepared to hit a wall. Her scars are personal and if she lets you see them, that makes her vulnerable; that’s how she got the scars in the first place. Let her open up to you on her own terms.
Be honest.
When she asks your opinion on a topic, from hairstyle to political view, just tell her the truth. It is never any fun finding out the person you’ve been getting along with is lying to you; even about the stupid insignificant things. She’s got trust issues for a reason okay; don’t make them worse because you lied about how much you actually watch baseball.
