Dear Wearers of the Romphim,
It’s 2017 and so many interesting things have happened. Barack Obama handed the title of POTUS to Donald Trump. Beauty and the Beast, starring Emma Watson, allowed us to relive our childhoods and fantasize about that beautiful, yellow dress and talking cutlery. We have had to finally accept the fact that One Direction is really over because Harry, Liam, Niall, Louis, and Zayn have all started solo projects. Beyoncé announced that she will be having twins and the world rejoiced with the joy of knowing that more of Mrs. Carter’s children will walk the Earth. We are excited to see our first African American woman as the Bachelorette on ABC, although we feel bad that many of her suitors are incredibly strange. And finally, Celine Dion performed her glorious hit “My Heart Will Go On” from Titanic at the Billboard Music Awards leaving no eye dry in the house. Nonetheless, the greatest moment of 2017 is the creation of the “Romphim”.
Rompers, in the women’s fashion industry, took the world by storm several years back and their popularity hasn’t seemed to slow. Providing a not only comfy, but cute style to women everywhere, rompers have become an integral part of any woman’s wardrobe.
But what many men fail to understand about women’s fashion in general and especially about rompers is that with great power comes great responsibility. Although rompers are comfy and cute, they are a difficult item of clothing. Not only do they wrinkle easily when you sit down and shrink up in the wash, but they don’t always fit everybody type. Rompers were designed to fit those women who are an average size or women with smaller torsos. Because they are designed for a certain average body length, they aren’t always ideal for everyone, especially those above the height of 5’10. Not to mention, if you do mind a romper that fits, you can never wash it for fear of it shrinking and never fitting properly again.
In addition to the difficulties of finding a comfortably fitting Romphim, you all will finally have to deal with the idea of a camel toe. While you have harassed women for years about the uncontrollable issue of the camel toe, you will now have to face the music and be exposed to its horrors, as well as the impending wedgies that are also associated.
And have you met our dear friend, baby powder? If not, wearing a Romphim will make you incredibly aware of your thighs and will therefore introduce you to the atrocities of chaffing.
But let’s get even more real. When it comes to using the bathroom while wearing a romper, we as women have the luxury of sitting in our own stall, getting butt naked, and being able to go. For you men rocking your Romphim in public, however, you will have to get stark naked and stand at a urinal with your butt cheeks exposed to the cold air and the on-looking, judgmental looks of your fellow bros in the adjacent stall. And don’t even think about slipping your Romphim to the side, because that can only end in the disaster of urine dripping down your leg. Not as easy as it looks, boys.
Although you might look absolutely fire standing at the bar ordering a mimosa during Sunday brunch with the boys, we as women want you to keep in mind the downfalls that come with this amazing item of clothing. Women have been taught from a young age that “beauty is pain,” but we aren’t always certain that men are up for that kind of challenge. With all of the cards on the table, I look forward to seeing you strut your stuff in your new Romphim.
Love always,
All Women.
