"You are confined only by the walls that you build yourself."
Sometimes I believe that we as humans build walls around our hearts because the fear of rejection is greater than the joy of acceptance. At least for me that is true, to an extent. I have spent a long time with a wall around my heart because I was afraid of what letting people in would do. But this past year I met a girl in who showed me that even though she learned about me, about my fears, my life, she wasn't going to leave me broken. She showed me love, acceptance, and taught me that no matter what anyone else says, I am strong, worthy, and beautiful. She showed me that Jesus loves me no matter what, and that I can always put my faith in Him.
What if I let my walls down, and let the world in?
NO ONE is immune to the hard seasons, yet we cover up our teary eyes, get dressed and go about our days. Through Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat we can create a false picture of what are lives look like on a daily basis. We smile for pictures, and post updates about the good things that happen, but rarely do we shed light on the hurt, the mess, the ugly.
This season has been filled with ugly, with messes I continue to make, and the ever lasting love and forgiveness of Jesus. I continue to try and find things that will satisfy this longing in my heart. But in my struggle for peace I continue to push away those who are closest to me, causing more hurt, than peace. My attempts to find acceptance, love, purpose, fullness, and worthiness have left me far more exhausted than if I had put all my faith in Jesus a long time ago.
So here I am, laying it all down on the table, and lifting it up to the Lord. For I know that Jesus is capable of satisfying those longings more than I ever could.
Dear heart: Tear down your wall, put down the sword, and let people in.
Stop fearing, and start living.
Here I am, letting my wall fall, putting my sword down. I am learning to believe the compliments, and not believe the negative, because my worthiness is not measure by people, but by Him. I am learning that I can't always please everyone no matter how hard I try. Because I am human, I make mistakes, i'm messy, and not all put together. I am stripped bare, and hoping in Jesus, for I know that He is for me, and with in me.
Jesus is not in the picture of perfect. He is not in the all put together.
He does not live in the un-shattered places of peoples lives, rather He is in messy and the ugly.
He is in the hard seasons where people feel hopeless, always.
So here I am, Finding Jesus in my broken, in my ugly, in my messy.
And I am [satisfied] because I know that He is here holding me.
My heart knows that HE is enough.
Jesus is doing new things in me, He is restoring me, and showing me through one girl who took the time to learn ME that I don't need to fear, and that I can put down the sword, tear down the wall and Breath.
Take the wall down, put away the armor, and put down the sword. No longer is this fight yours alone, for Jesus will be with you every step of the way to love you, show you acceptance, and guide you to those people who are going to be a benefit in your life.
Go on, and no longer be numb to it all. Feel it, and take it to Jesus, collapse in His arms, and trust that He knows what you need, when you need it, and what is best for you
