To The Guy Dating The Girl With Trust Issues

To The Guy Dating The Girl With Trust Issues

I don't wanna take this out on you, but it's just who I am and what I've been through.
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Dear guy in my life,

No, it's not your fault. I don't want to treat you this way, like I'm accusing you of something, but it is just how I am now. It's not that you did me wrong because it wasn't you. It was him. So, I shouldn't take things out on you. However, it's not that easy. You see, I didn't think he would do it, and that's why I am so messed up. They all start out the same; sweet, saying all the right things, a "good" guy. That's not always the case, though, and it wasn't with him. I know you're different. You've shown me that a million times and I believe you. It's just that once I go through something like that, it's always in the back of my mind. And nowadays? It's just so common. I mean, social media aids it, and hardly anyone has true respect for relationships anymore. I know you won't do it... but I can't stop myself from wondering.

I know we fight about this a good bit. I worry too much about other girls, your ex's, and what you're doing when I'm not around. I trust you I promise, it's just that I've been told not to worry about that girl he was best friends with, or his ex before, and it turned out that I should have worried. I know you're just with a buddy having guy time, but that part of me wonders. I can apologize and say it's never going to happen again, and I promise I will try, but I can't say it won't be on my mind. It's always there. Now once we are married? Will it go away? Maybe, but it's not for certain. Sure, I will feel better with the ring on my hand knowing that you chose me, but what if you change your mind.

SEE ALSO: From The Girl Ready To Settle Down At 20

I hate my insecurities. I think every girl on this planet wishes that they could just not care, but I've yet to meet a girl that accomplished it. It's who we are.

So, I am just gonna apologize for the next million times that my insecurities get in the way of us. I really am NOT worried about that girl that likes your IG pics, or your ex, especially (I mean, EX for a reason right?). But I can't say that I won't let that feeling make me say stupid things.

So don't give up, and I know you won't. I know it's a lot of baggage to deal with, but with the pain and heartbreak comes a strength that can push through anything, and that is exactly what we will do.

Signed,

The girl with a whole lotta trust issues.

Cover Image Credit: Stocksnap

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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15 #CoupleGoals-Worthy Fall Date Ideas, In All Their Basic Glory

Fall dates are the best dates.

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I always look forward to the fall months when the weather is still warm enough to do things outside and the leaves are beginning to change colors. There are so many fun things to do with your partner during this beautiful time of year. Here are 15 date ideas during this lovely season.

1. Go hiking and have a picnic. 

Pick your favorite scenic trail and pack your favorite assortment of snacks to enjoy at the top with your loved one. Enjoy some treats and a beautiful view of the fall foliage.

2. Go apple picking at an orchard

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You can never have too many apples right? Choose a nearby orchard and pick as many apples as you and your significant other can fit in your bags. The excitement continues when you get home and think of all the desserts and dishes you can make with your freshly picked apples.

3. Attend a drive-in movie.

What's more romantic than cuddling up and watching a movie under the stars together? Open the trunk and set up some comfy pillows and blankets.

4. Go to a football game under the lights.

There's something about Friday night football under the lights in the fall. The weather is cool enough that you can enjoy some hot chocolate and cheer on your team with your significant other but warm enough that you can still tailgate.

5. Go to a brewery/cidery/winery.

There's nothing like a beer, cider, or wine tasting of a new fall flavor to get you in the autumn mood.

6. Attend a fall festival.

Fall= harvest events, farmers markets, and festivals galore! Enjoy some fall foods, drinks, music, crafts, decorations and more. It's the perfect way to spend a Saturday with your loved one.

7. Watch a scary Halloween movie together.

You can jump and scream together as you watch your favorite horror classics this season.

8. Make a bonfire and roast marshmallows.

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Who said s'mores were only for the summer? They taste just as good in the fall when you're making them with your partner by your side. Snuggle up and enjoy your time together.

9. Visit a haunted house.

Being scared with your partner and holding onto them as you venture through a haunted house together is something special. Whether you're scared or not, knowing they're there makes you feel safer.

10. Go to a pumpkin patch.

It's the only time of year when you suddenly have the strength to lift the heaviest pumpkin you can find. Plus you have some help from your partner. Enjoy some apple cider while you pick the perfect pumpkin to take home and carve together.

11. Go on a hayride at a farm.

You're never too old for a hayride. It's romantic too!

12. Eat an unnecessary amount of cider donuts.

Why are they so addicting? At least you can both agree that you can never eat too many.

13. Attempt to make a fall dish/dessert.

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Try something new with your partner so that you can both laugh about if things go south.

14. Watch the sunrise or sunset.

#Romantic

15. Drink a fall-flavored Starbucks drink together.

You'd be surprised how many people like a good PSL or salted caramel latte

These 15 fall date ideas may be #Basic, but your partner will thank you.

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