To The Girl Behind Me,
I was in the coffee shop yesterday, and I heard you complaining to your friend about your long distance relationship. I couldn't help but tune in, as I've been there before myself. It's all too common these days, these relationships spanning across states, countries, even the globe. Love doesn't know mile markers, unfortunately. However, I've learned a few things along the way.
First of all, you said you're a freshman. Freshman. Fresh start. Don't come into college exhausting yourself with boy drama. Leave it in high school, leave it at the park, leave it anywhere else. Now, I'm not saying you should ditch a happy and healthy relationship just because you're entering college, but I think deep down we all know the difference. If you have a healthy relationship, you won't be thinking about this at all, because it's not an issue. But if you are having doubts, and wondering what else is out there, just let it go. Let them go. You can't make excuses for other people, and you can't make other people see your worth. Plus, you have an advantage. It's way easier to end a relationship if it's long distance, because you don't have to see that person if you don't want to. Worst case scenario, you run into them when you least expect it. If that happens, grab your jaw off the ground, push your heart back up where it's supposed to be, and carry on. You left it behind for a reason and no amount of nostalgia can change that if you don't let it.
College is about exploring who you are as a person. You no longer have the reputation that was built for you in your hometown. You don't have to stay within the bounds of what is considered cool for your clique, or your high school. So go out there, be weird, do YOU.
I'll tell you what though, you can't find out who you are if you're dragging around the dead weight of an unpromising relationship. Cut that sh*t off, and run free. You can run freely to the library, to the bars, to the nearest pizza place, I don't care where you run. But run anywhere other than back to that guy.
I hit rock bottom this year. It's pretty lame down there. So I climbed out real quick (Not quick at all), and took some necessary steps towards finding myself. I'm not all the way finished, but I've sure come along way. I realize now that this process could have been a lot smoother if I didn't focus so much time and energy on having a boyfriend. I used to be one of those girls that thought she could fix people. Don't. Just stop. People can only fix themselves. I don't care what anybody says. Sure, someone else can inspire you, but they can't do the work for you. Nobody else could do the work for me either, and I didn't get that. I was expecting too much in that aspect. Now I know.
Don't make the same mistakes that I did. Don't let boy drama consume your college career. Live your life, be happy alone, and figure yourself out. Every person is complicated in their own way. So solve your own mystery before you set out trying to be Sherlock Holmes for somebody else's f*cked up mind.
You don't show up to a pot luck with ingredients, expecting someone else to put them together for you. You show up having already cooked, with an edible creation. Humans are the same way, and only you can put your pieces together. So put them together. And then maybe once you do that, love will find you.
Sincerely,
A Friendly Eavesdropper
