A Letter To The Girl Who Was Cheated On By Her "Soulmate"

A Letter To The Girl Who Was Cheated On By Her "Soulmate"

Chin up, darling. There's a life beyond the one you pictured with him.
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Hi there,

I heard you've been going through some pretty tough times lately. He left you, didn't he? The guy you grew to love and trust so dearly, chose to betray you and stomp your heart into the ground. The love you had for him was deeper than any ocean and stronger than the most potent of drugs, wasn't it?

You saw your entire future built around him. You never once thought he would ever do this to you, he was your version of perfection. You placed your heart in his hands and trusted him to never drop it. He did his job for a long time, but then one day he became complacent, or maybe careless, and he let his eyes wander astray.

He dropped your heart and stepped on it while chasing someones else. He broke you. I see how your attitude has changed. You've lost your will to live and the ability to see the good in your life; you've never felt so alone before.

It's not hard to see how miserable you've become. The sadness, confusion, self-loathing, and loneliness has consumed your entire existence; you don't think you'll ever be the same again, do you?

Every night, as you fight back tears, you pray to God that he will return to your side and awaken you from the nightmare. But deep down inside yourself, you know he is never coming back. He made that choice the moment he let his eyes wander. He's left you wondering why you weren't good enough, wondering what it was that you did wrong.

Don't you dare blame yourself for his choices, don't you dare give him that kind of power over you.

The hardest part in all of this is the fact that no matter how badly you want to hate him for this, you will always forgive him in the end. However, don't let anyone tell you that this is a bad thing. The ability to forgive him will help you move on. Forgive him, but never forget what he chose to do to you.

Right now, this is the time for you to keep to yourself and take a mental and emotional break. Go ahead and cry, be sad, and let all the negativity out. It's okay to not be okay.

Time will heal the wounds he left you with. How much time it takes is completely up to you. Maybe you'll begin to let go tomorrow, or maybe it'll take a few years. Have patience and keep an open mind, and I promise that this situation will get better.

Nobody ever expects to have their trust violated by a loved one, so I'm sure that your willingness to love and trust again is next to zero, and that is perfectly okay right now. Since you can no longer give your love to him, give it to yourself instead.

You are not any less of a person because he cheated and left. You are still beautiful, strong-willed, intelligent, and filled with kindness. Besides, if you can love the person who hurt you this much, just imagine how much you will love the person who chooses to stand by you forever.

The game of love is the most difficult and complex for humans to win. All the stars must align perfectly for success to be found. While you may have lost faith in love, never lose faith in yourself.

Stay strong, you'll get through this. Just remember to never blame yourself, forgive, but never forget, take your time, and always love yourself.

Chin up, darling. There's a life beyond the one you pictured with him.

Love,

The Stranger Who Cares

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.
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My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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To My Ex, Yes, I Really Do Wish You The Best

Forgiveness is the final form of love and the greatest form of freedom.
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Maybe Adele was onto something.

I used to hate when those words echoed through my mind, like that stupid song on repeat " I want nothing but the best for youuuuuuu."

I definitely did NOT want the best for you.

I wanted the absolute worst for you because as far as I was concerned, I was the best and you left me.

To be cursed with the worst, for all I cared.

I was so angry for such a long time. Angry at you, angry at myself, angry at God, angry at the world... until I learned that anger was just misdirected sadness, and I was hiding behind it to try to escape the devastation.

I realized if I ever wanted to get over this, to get over you, I had to feel all the feels.

So, I let myself go.

I went through all of your things, I went to all of our old spots, I put on your clothes and I allowed the tears to finally come. My body racked with sobs as I laid there amidst every piece of you I still held onto.

I thought of you deeply and fully and continuously until I was sure I had replayed every moment of us.

I retold our story on paper and to people and out loud to myself, alone in my car late at night.

I let it all out until there was nothing left.

And so, I let go. Of all the pent-up hurt that had left me exhausted. Of all the reasons I had to keep awake at 3 am. Of you.

It has taken me a long time to forgive you because we are incapable of forgiveness when our hearts are bound with such negativity.

Forgiveness is the final form of love and the greatest form of freedom.

Now that I'm free, I understand what Adele meant, and I really do want the best for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to find a girl who understands. who knows the difference between you being indifferent and when you need space.

A girl who can hold you in her arms and know when to comfort you with words and when all you need is her presence. A girl you don't have to worry about introducing to your mother, but more importantly, a girl you're excited to introduce to your friends. A girl who won't make you punch holes in the wall.

I hope she's everything you've ever wanted. I hope she laughs at all your jokes but also can make you laugh too. and I hope she loves your laugh. I hope she loves how excited you get about your hobbies and obsessions.

I hope she encourages you to keep doing the things you love. I hope she pushes you to be better every day. I hope she pushes you to go to law school.

I pray that she sympathizes well with your heartache and she's the perfect mix of distraction and remedy that helps you heal. I pray she loves you with all of her heart and that you love her in the same way.

I pray that she gives you a little boy one day to carry on your namesake... and (selfishly) I pray that she also gives you a little girl, who can hopefully carry on mine.

And I pray that you're living in the same freedom I am, that you've forgiven me and forgiven yourself and that you're pursuing the life I've always dreamed for you. One where you're happy. And I hope you wish the best for me too.

Cover Image Credit: PxHere

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