In every political race that arises in our country, I see too many male politicians with daughters pointing out the supposed "limitations" of women. One in particular once blamed the Disney movie "Mulan" for giving women false expectations of strength and ability. In that moment, I worried for his daughters and I made a pact with myself to never let my own children feel limited like that.
And so, future husband and father of my children, this letter is to implore you of the same. I wanted to share my ideals for our parenting.
We will never praise our daughters looks before we praise her achievements. She will of course be stunningly beautiful (she is our daughter after all) but that will not be the flimsy foundation of her pride.
If our son is unapologetically violent or invasive, we will never say, "Boys will be boys." We will have him apologize. We will teach him restraint and the power of control. We will teach him respect and honor. When our son sees a woman, he will a see beautiful, powerful, and intelligent equal.
Our daughter should never be held to perfection. She can be whatever she wants to be, but we will remind her constantly, "Perfection is the enemy of good" (Voltaire).
Our son will play with whatever toys he wants.
Our daughter will play with whatever toys she wants.
Our son will dance, sing, and play in the mud.
Our daughter will dance, sing, and play in the mud.
We will thank God for the sunshine and even more so for the rain. We will teach our children that there is beauty in all things and in all people, no matter how evil they may seem. This is the first step to following Jesus' only commandment: Loving each other.
Food is not the enemy, it is a powerful ally, and we will never call our daughter fat.
Food is not the enemy, it is a powerful ally, and we will never call our son fat.
If we wish for our children to save themselves for marriage, we must expect the same chastity from both our sons and daughters. We will not value the virginity of one gender versus the other.
Do not teach them that sex is about power. Sex is about love, respect and creation.
Our son will protect our daughter, and our daughter will protect our son.
We will teach them love. Sibling squabbles are to be expected but deep sibling rivalry is the enemy of the familial bond.
We will teach them how to ask for help, but also how to be independent. They will never put their worth in the eyes of someone else. They will love and be loved and learn how beautiful that is.
They will break hearts and have their hearts broken in return. We will teach them how to cope, how to cry, and how to keep living no matter how hard it gets. We will teach them how beautiful that is and how strong it is to say yes to life.
They will disappoint us, but we will never give up on them.
They will impress us, but we will never stop encouraging them.
We will teach them about God and His unconditional love. We will be less strict as they grow up and the more decisions they make with their faith, the stronger they will be. We will be their role models and they will see how we pray, how we help each other, how we hold hands and smile and laugh easily.
If we succeed at nothing else, I wish one thing above all: our children -- our lovely, intelligent, beautiful children -- will know what love truly is.
