I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that you failed at your goal for my life. You tried to hit me with the worst, to tear me apart from my God, but your plans failed. They failed miserably because while you were causing me pain and suffering, I was crying out to my Lord to save me instead of crying out to you. I’m sorry because, while at some points of my life you thought you were succeeding, you ultimately are not. Every divorce, death, and daunting trial you put me through, only brought me closer to my God. Everything you threw at me to make me love the Lord less only ended up bringing us closer. I’m sorry that you only had my attention for small moments of my life. You may have thought that at times you had won my heart, but my God made sure to always keep it protected from you. I’m sorry you don't have that kind of great power that He does.

Not only would I like to apologize to you but I would like to thank you. Thank you for the two divorces you put me through. While you tried to show me that my life was broken and would never be the same, God showed me greater relationships with my parents and the gift of a new little sister. Thank you for trying to use a friends death to send me into shambles. You sent me straight into God’s loving arms where a huge community of believers were there for me. You sent me into friendships that will last me a lifetime. You did that, and even though it wasn’t your intentions, thank you anyways. Thank you for everything else you made me suffer through because it helped me find my identity in Christ and made me who I am today.

I know that I am still young and that you will keep trying to hurt me, but just know that God has my heart and always will. The chaos you cause for pain, God ultimately uses for growth. This doesn't just go for me, but for everyone else as well. You have waged the war, but God will win. Don't forget it.