Mum,

I know writing this to you is useless, as you will never get to read this. However it makes me feel better. It gives me closure. Its coming close to you being dead for two years and it’s just strange. It seems like just last week you were sitting in your creme Chrysler with your curly hair singing Ordinary People. But no, more than two years ago that was you. I know I told you I loved you a lot, but I don’t think I ever really showed you. For that I am sorry. But I am so thankful that you brought me into this world everyday. I am so thankful that I got to grow up with you as a mom regardless of what you did. I am so thankful that I got the pleasure of knowing you for close to fifteen years. Looking back, I am so thankful for every day with you, even if it was just fighting or watching a movie. I am so thankful that you were there to support me, by believing in me and coming to my sports games and karate practice. I’m sorry I never told you how thankful I am, to have had you are my mother. I loved every minute of it, and I would do anything to just get a minute to hear your voice and hug you again. Just once would be a miracle. It is still unreal to me. Everyday that you are gone gets easier, yet harder at the same time.The past few days have been amazing, but out of nowhere something broke in me and I just felt agitated. I know that in the future I will be happy, just not one hundred percent. When you died a part of me was crushed, and I don’t think I can ever get it back. I can’t tell you how hard it is to feel like you have done something good, when you feel like your family is drifting away. Maybe I am just pushing them away. I don’t know. I just know that if you were here you’d be very proud of me. It sucks that you miss out on everything in Jess and I’s lives. I don’t know if you watch down on us. I don’t know what happens. I just wish you would be there to see me graduate. I love you and I miss you so much. Thank you for everything.

Love You Forever,

Annie