Dear Resting Bitch Face,
How ya doin', RBF? You're the very common, angry expression that is my face. You and I go waayyy back. You have a long history of making me appear furious with the world around me, so mad at everything and everyone, even though I'm just chillin' over here. You always show up in pictures with me and people associate us together.
You always make me look mad. Or like I want to "murder everyone." Or like "the world has ended and my family died." But I'm usually never not feeling like that- let alone mad. I'm just thinking really hard about my delicious morning coffee or when/ where I can take a nap and my thinking face happens to look like I hate everyone who ever existed.
You don't intend to make me look upset, or angry, or annoyed. You kinda just happen. I honestly could be the happiest gal on the planet at any given time, but you make me look like the meanest, angriest gal on the planet.
I sometimes feel bad that I have you, but then I realize all of the famous people who have you, too. Queen Elizabeth, Angela Merkel, Victoria Beckham, Kristen Stewart, Drake, April from Parks and Rec, Kanye, Rihanna, Anna Wintour, Simon Cowell, Keira Knightley, Eminem, Emily Blunt, Anna Kendrick and so many more. Why do you do this to us? I don't know why you pop up on our faces, you just do. I'm not mad at you, (though everyone else seems to think that I'm always irate at someone) but I don't want to always look bothered.
To all those out there without resting bitch face, come talk to us. I know that we RBFers might seem like real meanie heads, but we are cool people! Our faces usually don't reflect how we actually feel. It is sad to think that people might avoid us because they think that we hate them even though we don't- we are just thinking about something else. If you want, we can teach you how to pout like a pro. When in doubt, pout it out.
So, RBF, you don't reflect the reality of my feelings. Why do you make my casual, resting face seem like I'm plotting murder? C'mon man....