Letter To My Uncle To Show How Much I Miss Him

An Open Letter To My Uncle

It has been 12 full years since you left, and I miss you more each day.

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Dear Uncle Nevie,

I never really thought that I would be writing this letter, not now, not ever, but I am incredibly happy to write it. I miss you deeply more and more each day and want you to know how much I have accomplished over the past 12 years and how much you have affected my life.

I remember being little (like seven or eight years old) and seeing you almost every day. Whether you came to our apartment or we went to yours, you were always there. You called me "Girlie" when you saw me and gave me a little pink princess hat. I even remember you completely engulfing me when the dog tried to get me, putting yourself at risk.

It was 12 years ago, this past November that we lost you, and 12 years since I wrote my speech for your funeral. It was one of my most remembered memories from that time, standing up in front of all our family and friends (we both know I hate crowds) as a little ten-year-old. Mom and grandma sat in the front row watching me. Gram had no idea what was in store.

My speech went a like this:

"My name is Sierra. Nevin was my Uncle. I called him Nevie. He called me Girlie. I would always steal his hat. Nevin helped me whenever I needed it. He was always a very helpful person. I love my uncle Nevie very much and so did his family and friends. I will miss him very much but know he will always be watching over me from heaven. This is for you uncle Nevie."

As I read the line "This is for you Uncle Nevie," I took out my pretty pink princess hat out from the inside of the podium and plopped it right on top of my head, inside the church and everything. I looked up at everyone in the room, my dad over on the right side, my aunt who helped edit my speech, my mom and grandma in the front. Everyone had tears in their eyes, that's when I knew I accomplished my goal.

I showed everyone how important you were and how much you meant to me.

Every day, I think about you, and how much I miss you. I know you're constantly there looking down on me but I cannot help but wish you were here to see everything I've accomplished since you left. So I decided to write you a letter to give you a little bit of insight.

You passed away when I was in fourth grade, I don't remember much from middle or elementary school other than, I was one of the smart kids. But I graduated eighth grade and got ready for high school, which let's be honest was both terrifying and amazing at the same time. I went to high school, played field hockey and softball (I'm sure you're not surprised) and managed the boy's ice hockey team.

I took all honors classes, got decent grades, and survived. I had a long term boyfriend, for like 3 ish years. Fell in love, fell out of love. No, you do not need to kill anyone. Then it was time to apply to college, I applied to 13 got accepted to nine of those schools and committed to the University of Maine. I received an amazing financial aid package and enough scholarships to go through my undergraduate almost debt free.

I knew I wanted to be a doctor, I knew I had at least four years of school after Maine, so I picked the school with the best financial package. I was skeptical but shortly fell in love with Orono and worked so incredibly hard to make get into graduate school. The best way to describe applying to graduate school is TERRIFYING. But my hard work paid off, I was accepted to ALL four schools that I applied to.

Now I am just getting ready to finish my final semester at the University of Maine, graduate and then move across the country to Oregon to pursue my Doctorate of Chiropractic Degree alongside a Masters Degree in Sports Medicine. I have a dream of working with athletes at the highest level with my degrees.

So Uncle Nevie, it has been 12 long years, I have accomplished an incredible amount and been through even more. I wish you could be here to witness everything, watch me walk across that graduation stage not once but twice. Although you aren't here every day, I know you are watching over me. I know you would be incredibly proud of me.

Love and miss you every day,

Girlie

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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You Don't Have To See Your Friends Every Day

We all have lives that we're trying to balance.

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For as long as I can remember, whenever I would have no plans and go on Snapchat to see all my friends having fun without me, I would get FOMO. I'd get really sad and think that they didn't care about me because they didn't invite me. It would get me in such a bad mood that it would ruin any chance of going out with someone else who wanted to hang out.

I don't know if it was just my anxiety of people hating me or if it was a fear of missing out (FOMO). Even recently, it has gotten me down. However, over the past month or so, I finally realized something: you don't have to hang out every day to still consider each other friends.

Everyone has a life that they're trying to balance, especially after high school. People work (maybe even more than one job) and go to school. Some have to take care of family members or do things for their family. Some people are focusing on themselves. Some have relationships to maintain. Whatever it is, we all have lives that we're trying to balance.

We all want to have fun, but school, work, and our families are the priorities.

Even if they're out hanging with other people, it doesn't mean that they don't want to hang out with you. Free time is served on a "first come, first serve" basis. It's hard to balance hanging out with multiple people.

I also learned that it doesn't matter the number of friends you have. What truly matters is the quality. Ask yourself, "Who's there for me when I really need someone?" The people who are there for you when you really need someone to talk to are your TRUE friends.

It's not easy to be there for someone and make them feel better. If they offer to listen or give advice, they care!

I know that it may feel like you have no friends sometimes, but that's not true. Life after high school is hard at times. You're an adult. You have to do adult things and take care of yourself first.

You have to realize that everyone has a busy schedule and not all your friends' schedules will align with yours, but that's okay! You don't need to hang out with friends every day to consider them your friends. What truly matters is if they are there for you when you need them.

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