S—

It's been a while since I saw you last, which, under normal circumstances, would be sad. In this case, however, it means that I don't need to see you. It means that my life has been good, and even when it hasn't, I've been able to cope with that. But, for the most part, it's just been good.

Since I first met you, I went through a cycle of changes. There were some obvious changes. I quit one of my jobs. I got fired from my other one the same day that I accepted a new one. A few days later, I accepted another job, putting me back at two jobs. A few months passed. I accepted a third job when my second job could no longer offer me the hours I needed. Later on, over the summer, I dropped the second job, putting me, once again, back at two jobs with my weekly articles on the side. You witnessed me making romantic decisions that have made my life better, and even though it would've been easier for you to just tell me what I should do, I now know why I had to make those decisions for myself. I never would've been happy just taking someone else's word. I needed, more than anything, to figure everything out for myself.

The less obvious changes have happened within me. They didn't happen on a specific date. I could figure out which day I quit a job or ended a relationship, but I can't put a date on many of the other changes. At some point over the past year, I had the realization that I was becoming unhealthy. Emotionally, I was fine. Physically, I was letting my body fall down on my list of priorities. Then, in much the same way, I had the realization that i needed to change the way I was treating myself. Emotional health has to be paired with physical health. I can't be the healthiest version of myself if I'm only focused on one kind of wellness. I started to walk on the treadmill while watching shows on Netflix. Then, at some point fairly recently, I had the realization that I look good, and I feel great.

After we discontinued our sessions, I submitted a piece of nonfiction to a contest on campus. It was about my time in the hospital last year and how I bounced back. It won me $1,425. I know you would be proud of me for putting myself out there and sharing a unique experience in the best way I know how: in writing.

My relationship with my family is now at a point I never expected it to reach. My parents and I have established a mutual respect for each other. They are more willing than ever to help me out when I need it. And, in exchange, I try to make time in my busy schedule to see them.

I have less than a year of schooling left. It has been somewhat overwhelming, and sometimes I think I won't be able to finish all of my homework, but I somehow manage to pull through. I now have the understanding that I will do what is necessary to maintain my health and optimism, even if it means that I have to cut back on hours at work. I have not let myself be dragged down by stress.

I make time in my schedule to go to the gym. Working out has helped me to refocus and feel better about myself in the midst of so many things that would normally inflict unbearable amounts of stress on a normal person. But, maybe without realizing it, you have made me feel like I am a superhuman. I know I am not infallible, but I am not afraid to look down and see how far I could fall, because I am well-balanced way up here.

I am more financially stable than I was when I last saw you. I don't have as much in my bank account as I did back then, but I'm also managing more payments than I ever have before. After totaling my car this summer, I was able to buy a new car. I moved into my first off-campus apartment. I paid for my own car insurance. I started saving my cash tips.

I found time to relax this summer. I went to my first major league baseball game in Kansas City. I lounged around at Oceans of Fun. I tried out kayaking. I taste-tested different foods. And I even found ways to incorporate mini vacations into the school year. Last weekend, I went to Worlds of Fun with my boyfriend and brother. We also went to our first NFL game. In mid-October, I'm travelling to West Lafayette to watch Iowa play against Purdue. Then, in December, right as the semester comes to a close, I will fly down to Florida before departing on a five-day cruise to Mexico.

I guess, with all of these 800 words and choppy, rambling paragraphs and no transitions to be seen, I just want you to know that you helped me more than I could ever thank you for, and that has not been wasted. I am living the life I've always want to live, even if I didn't always know it. I'm figuring out what I want and what I need to do to get it. I am here because I once made bad decisions, and then I followed those bad decisions with good decisions. And all I have left to say is thank you. Thank you for believing that I am a good person who has potential to be a successful, optimistic, happy young woman.

Love,

E