Narcissistic Personality Disorder

An Open Letter To People With Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Everyone in your life is a pawn in your game and have tragically fallen victim to your disorder.

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Dear narcissist,

You live in your own world. You may not feel lonely, but the rest of the world sees right through the illusion of grandiose you have built and perfectly crafted down to every detail.

Your illusion of grandiose is what makes you feel important. You are a bulldozer to those around you. You manipulate and plow straight through any and everyone that may compromise or tarnish this beautiful image of greatness you have worked so hard to keep.

The way you avoid people getting close to your prized possession is by keeping people at a distance. You are not willing to hand over a free pass for someone to crack the code and call you out for your toxic and harmful ways. The people you do allow in, you manipulate. You may not think you are doing so, but it has become second nature for you and that is why you feel you can do no wrong to others. Doing wrong to others in order to get to the top is like breathing at this point in your life, it is instinctual.

The majority of people won't initially understand or even notice your games and manipulation. It is because you are so good at what you do. It is the reason you were awarded the title "narcissist". You are a very talented illusionist and know exactly how to act and make yourself come across a certain way in order to keep this reputation you would like for yourself alive.

You thrive off of your reputation. It is single-handedly the most important thing to you. More important than the way you treat your friends, family, or partner. The people who love you most often times take the hardest blow from you. They did absolutely nothing to deserve it, but you will do anything and everything within your power to stay at the top. You do not care what it takes, as long as you can get there. Hurting others is not of concern to you.

The thing about reputations is they are bi-products of you living your life naturally. They are not given by you micromanaging every aspect of your life. For a narcissist, this concept is foreign. You are very meticulous when crafting this custom image for yourself. A control freak if you will. Letting go of control is something you are not willing to do. It would make you incredibly uncomfortable to allow all aspects of your life to occur naturally.

Letting go is not something that comes easily to even myself, but I am able to admit that letting go of control is difficult. Your pride is an issue and more times than not gets in the way and you refuse to admit to your shortcomings. Admitting your faulty qualities would tarnish your reputation of greatness. You strive for perfection, whatever that means to you, and you will lie through your teeth just so people are unable to see your true colors.

It's as if your one true mission in life is to construct a fort of steel around your mind and ward off anyone who is curious and wants to see what's inside. Pushing others out and keeping them away is your specialty, and if you were to let your guard down your true colors would show and that is a state of vulnerability that would cripple you. You no longer would feel a sense of worth or value within yourself.

You are a challenging puzzle. The most complex maze imaginable. Trying to break down your walls is your loved ones' most prized mission, the thing they are hungry to accomplish most. After having hundreds of experiences with you, they will get to a point where they realize helping you is an impossible task. The mission will never take off, therefore it is a complete waste of time trying to help you or change you. Narcissists do not change. It is incredibly hard to accept this defeat, but your loved ones have no choice but to accept defeat and embrace you for who you are, meaning years and years full of hardship and emotional battle scars.

Some people cannot handle you. Then there lies the rare few who are strong enough and intelligent enough to handle you. They are the diamonds in the rough, but time and time again you take these special people for granted and push them away. They intimidate you and challenge you in ways you have never experienced before and it scares you to death. It scares you because you fear change. At the end of the day, if you want to push them away, you will get your way. Narcissists always manipulate the system in their favor. You may feel better now that they are "off your back", but by doing so, you will live the rest of your life stuck on repeat, running the same marathon until the day you die. You will never grow or better yourself, which kills those who have so much love in their hearts for you.

Eventually, though, you will do them dirty enough that they drop you for good. You cannot live the rest of your life manipulating people, controlling every situation, and lying to others in order to get to the top. Karma will come around and you will experience the harshest reality possible. The harshest realizations are so far out of reach to you. It may come in a year, ten years, twenty years, or maybe you will never have that AH-HA moment which opens your eyes and pulls you out of your fantasy world you have been living in for years.

You are selfish, manipulative, and even vindictive at times. You inflict so much hurt and pain on those around you, and you will NEVER be able to see how terrible you are to people which is the most bizarre thing of all time.

Have fun living in your own sick and twisted fantasy world!

XOXO,

The victims of your narcissistic abuse (AKA-- the people who once loved you and have been dragged to hell and back by your own hand).

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10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.
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College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.



There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


ALSO SEE:

Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

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If I Could Dream A Perfect Day, This Is What I'd Do

An inside look at what my dream day would be like.

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Have you ever just had such a crappy day that you find yourself lying in bed daydreaming about what your perfect day would be like? No limitations, no pain, no frustrations. Just whatever you want.

Well, I have. Here is a look at what my perfect day would contain.

1. Teleportation

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I know, I know. The first thing on my list is something that could absolutely never happen, at least in my lifetime. But hear me out.

I want to travel, but any form of transportation makes me sick. Cars, boats, planes, trains, you name it I end getting sick. So if I could teleport than I wouldn't have to deal with it. Plus I wouldn't have to pay for gas or airfare. It's a win-win.

2. My Mom

Kayla Resler

It wouldn't be a perfect day if my mom wasn't along for the ride. Who else would I have fun with and then rub it in my brothers face later?

Just kidding, he would come too.

3. Food

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It would not be a prefect day if it didn't involve food. And if it was free it would be even better.

4. London

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I have been dying to go back to London, and if it was my perfect day I would definitely take a trip over the pond!

5. Meet the Stars

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If it was going to be my perfect day, I would meet some celebrities. Let me scream, and jump, and totally fangirl in front of Emma Watson, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth, Zac Efron, and Robert Downey Jr. just to name a few.

6. Meet Fictional Characters

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Earlier I said no limitations, so that means I get to meet fictional characters such as the Mikaelson family, the Golden Trio, Sirius Black, the Avengers, the Joker (he wouldn't kill me), and Hannibal Lecter (he also wouldn't kill me) to name a few.

7. Disney World

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Bring on the magic! I want to go to Disney World and not have to wait in any lines. That would be a perfect day.

8. Learn a New Language

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If I could learn how to speak French or German in a day that would be amazing.

9. Queen Concert

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If I could close out the day by traveling back in time to see a Queen concert with Freddie Mercury back on stage that would be the perfect end to the perfect day.

10. Happiness

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If everyone that I love was completely happy, with no stresses holding them down, for just one day that would definitely be a part of my perfect day.

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