Dear myself as a mother,
I know, motherhood is a crazy time in life. Many emotions come with being a mother. You not only feel emotions such as love, happiness and gratitude, but also the hard emotions such as anxiety, depression and exhaustion. Don't worry, because all mothers feel the same. When you're down and feel like you aren't doing motherhood right, come back and read what your younger self is going to tell you.
You're doing an awesome job. I know it may feel like you are the worst mom in the world, but trust me. Your kids are always going to love you. Smother them with love, because that's what they will remember most. Be the mom that your kids might get embarrassed about when you kiss them before they go to school or write notes in their lunches because even the little things remind them of your love. They may not appreciate it when they are little, but when they look back at those memories later on in life, they won't want it to have been any other way.
When you feel like you're about to have a break down, get away for a weekend. That time away from your kids will really make you miss them whether you believe it or not. Plus, it's always nice to get away and have some me time, and that's OK. I know you want everything for your kids and you want them to have an awesome childhood with a super mom. But you have to have fun, too. If your world is revolving solely around your children, then you'll wear yourself down and lose yourself. So once a month take a child detox day or two, take off your super mom cape, and just relax and enjoy yourself.
Kids will be kids... which means getting into trouble. Instead of yelling at your kids when they throw a tantrum, really just try to listen. Listen to what they want to say, calm them down with your soothing mom voice. Yeah, if you're in a store and your kid starts screaming about wanting a toy, it's embarrassing. But instead of losing your head, calmly talk them down from their storm. If you are there for them and listen to them when they are little, then that trend will continue. Don't make them feel that if they tell you something they'll automatically get in trouble. Make sure that regardless of what they have to tell you that they wont feel judged. Build that trust with them so you can have a relationship with no secrets.
Always remember, being a mom may feel like a job sometimes but it is truly a privilege. It will have its ups and downs. But make it the best you can. Love your children unconditionally, don't lose yourself in the process, and make the best memories. Remember how close you are to your mother, and follow in her footsteps to make your relationships with your kids just as strong. I know you'll want to throw in the towel every now and then, but always remember that without you, your children wouldn't be here today. Remember that they love you regardless of what they may say, or how they may act. They think you're the strongest, prettiest, awesome woman in the whole world and let that be your fuel to keep that reputation up. It'll be hard at times but I know that you can do it.
With love,
Your 20-year-old self
