Dear Sister,
I was exactly where you are right now, 9 months ago. I know how bad it hurts, and I'm not going to be one of those people that lie and say "you'll be over it in a few days". You won't even be over it in a few years. Sure you'll have moved on, but you'll never fully forget the war he made you feel. There's nothing worse than the loss of your first love.
When it happened, it didn't feel real. It didn't feel real until I came home to all of his stuff in my room, in my phone, in my car. I couldn't believe that three years were down the drain. I spent the next three weeks doing nothing but watching law and order SVU in the dark and waiting for him to change his mind, he never did. You deserve a warning, I wish that someone could’ve warned me. I'm not going to lie to you, the first month is the worst. You will spend your time going over everything in your head over and over. I'm here to tell you that no matter how many times you overthink it, you couldn't have changed it. I'm also here to tell you, it wasn't your fault.
There will be days where you feel like you literally cannot breathe and you will cry and the drop of the hat. It’s okay to cry. Crying doesn’t mean your weak, it means you’ve been hurt. You’re feelings are relevant. After a month it will come in waves. One minute you will be fine and the next you will feel just as you did when he first left. Stay strong, this part only last a little while. I hope that I am with you when you see her for the first time with him. Not because I’m afraid you’ll do something crazy like yell at her in the cookout bathroom, but because this will be your lowest point through all of this. He left you for her and that’s something you won’t ever be able to understand. You gave him everything, you loved him first, you thought you were it; but he left anyways. Don’t let yourself think that she’s better than you, she’s not. In fact you should feel sorry for her. She’s stuck with him now, and what they say is true. If he’ll cheat with her, he’ll cheat on her. Also, if she’ll cheat with him, she’ll cheat on him too.
They were doomed from the beginning, he’ll get his. I’m not here to bash his new girl, but I am here to tell you that you were enough. You will always be enough. She took your man, she doesn’t get to take your pride too. I used to hate when people would tell me that it got better, because they didn’t know what I was feeling. But I do know what you’re feeling and it does get better. In a few months it won’t sting as bad. You’ll be able to make small talk with him when you see him out and not want to throat punch him. You’ll be able to tell him how it made you feel without crying. You’ll be strong. You won’t ever get over what he did to but you will get over him. You won’t ever love someone the way you loved him, but you will love someone else. Sweet sister, you deserve the world. Please don’t make him the world you choose to live in. In the words of Christina Yang, “He is not the Sun, you are!”. If you won’t take my advice, take hers! Don’t let your life revolve around a boy who gave up the best thing he will ever have. Find someone who will revolve around you. Trust me, he’s out there. Don’t rush, though. This is a blessing in disguise. He gave you something when he left. Do you know what it is? The opportunity to love yourself again. Isn’t that exciting? You have a clean slate. You can start over. You can be who you want to be. Take this heartbreak and turn it into the best gift you’ve ever received. You deserve to be happy again.
I will always be here to pick you up when you fall. I love you, sweet sister.
Sincerely,
A Sister Who Knows
