I know you won't imagine your life this way, but this is what will happen.
Dear 10-Year-Old Me,
(April 12, 2008 to April 12, 2017)
Mom and Dad will get divorced.
You won't know how to feel about it, that's okay
Mom will get a new boyfriend and you won't like him for a very long time, but that's ok too.
Your parents divorce is NOT your fault and it was bound to happen anyway.
Mom loves you and Dad loves you. Try to love them both without conflicting feelings.
Things are still tricky, but it's ok. You need to remember that they loved you once, and they still love you now.
Special Ed is only temporary.
I know you hate those special education classes.
You are going to study really hard and fight a lot with your counselor on where you belong.
Your grades will be good. But, once you get into your "main stream" courses, they will hurt you more and you won't be getting help, while also dumping on yourself.
College will feel like a giant step from just getting used to high school to even harder. You'll get through it as far as I know for now.
Understand that you are not stupid and there is nothing wrong with processing information at a different pace than everyone else. It is hard, but you can do it.
Moving will become a numbing process.
You are going to move three times. It's no big deal since attachment isn't a thing once you hit 16.
Packing your bags and cramming it into a small car will actually become an amazing skill you gain.
You'll move three times freshman year because of shitty suit mates and each time becomes more swifter.
The best part is you will learn better ways to pack your car without using bins because they are actually bulkier than shrink bags.
Friends aren't important and you will live without them.
You will gain 3 groups of friends and they won't matter much because they are already close to each other and there isn't that much room for you.
Don't stress when they stop contacting you, they moved on fast because you are just a small smudge in their life.
Keep your friends and boyfriend separate or else things get uncomfortable.
Don't get so involved in your social life because it causes your more stress than help, especially if they are dramatic as it is.
You will find friends that are worth keeping and actually want you in the future.
All of your boyfriends suck.
You won't know this until you start having the feelings of regret. You will regret getting into a relationship with any of them and he will break up with you because he is a lying, cheating scumbag.
Keep your personal life personal because your friends will start to hate you due to your relationship problems.
You'll go through many guys and do things that you shouldn't have, but remember you can always go back to being yourself. Keep in mind that if you are doing something you don't like, it's never too late to go back. Run away from the bad choices and don't let that asshole influence you otherwise.
Your friends are going to side with your boyfriend and some of them will even date him.
Being happy single exists, too. But, you will live through this and eventually, you'll find real love again.
Work is work.
You will have a love / hate relationship with your job.
Money will become very important as adulthood is coming closer.
Save your money instead of spending it on your stupid boyfriends and things you don't need. If you really want that tattoo, you should start now.
You will actually really enjoy lifeguarding for most of the time, until you get punched in the nose. Being a cashier is going to suck majorly, but you are going to wish for that job back once you're searching for new jobs again.
Appreciate Mom teaching you life skills.
Cleaning and organizing will be your best traits.
You will learn to sew, knit, dye, clean, and do laundry.
When she offers to teach you something, please take the time to learn it because when you're older you will want her to teach you but you won't have the time.
All your peers will not know how to do simple tasks and they will live in a pigpen but, because you were raised right, you will actually live better and neater.
You won't have a car until college.
You won't even really be comfortable driving for a long time.
You will be the only senior in your high school without a car and takes the bus.
But, guess what? You are actually saving more money in the long run.
You won't get your license until your sophomore year of college.
You have no money to have a car and no place to go, but be grateful because some of your peers won't have a car until after college.
You don't have to be pretty.
I know you really want friends and all the girls who look like they live a happy life in their big groups of friends with their nice clothes and boys surrounding them.
You won't ever really have the money to spend on those stupid clothes, and be happy about that because they are a waste of money anyway.
Buy clothes that make you feel more comfortable and partly cute.
Do not invest yourself into makeup, it's not worth it. You'll only use it for a few week until you get sick of it.
If you want a prettier face, spend more time getting facials and taking care of your acne.
Late puberty does not make you any less of a female.
All the girls are going to start getting their lady parts and periods.
Just be happy those stupid boy hormones are away from you.
You are a girl, and stupid lady parts, hairs, and blood isn't going to make you anymore female. It will come in eventually and you'll be happy with what you get.
Please, please stop wearing padded bras. You'll learn this in high school and people will mock you for your "small" chest all the time, but just give them the finger.
Be happy enjoying life without womanhood killing you constantly.
Be happy being a girl.
BE HAPPY, BE HAPPY, BE HAPPY, BE HAPPY, BE HAPPY, BE HAPPY, BE HAPPY!!
Please stop making yourself miserable because life gets so much better when you're an adult. I know you are sitting and waiting for it, but please just absorb what you can of happiness. And please... keep writing in your diary.
There is so much more I can say, but I'm going to stop it here or else it would be miles long.
Love,
Angelica Kathrine
