Dear Pap,

I decided to write this simple letter to you nearing your birthday. This coming up year, you would've been 64 years old. I was lucky enough to be apart of sixteen of your short years on Earth. I know that your birthday down here can't even come close to what you have up in Heaven. I simply couldn't put into words just how much I miss you, and how much our family misses you, especially now with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up. There also isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, or see something that reminds me of you.

I miss the silly moments we used to have: like on Thanksgiving you would always pick out mom's pies and hide them so no one else could have them. So, when someone would ask where the pie was you would reply "what-pie?" I miss riding in your pickup truck, singing to the top our lungs to gospel songs on the radio, we looked like fools to people passing us but we didn't care we were just having fun. I miss watching FOX News with you, and making countless jokes about the politicians we had in office. I miss the days when you tried to teach me how to drive because you were the only one brave enough to. Lastly, I miss Saturday mornings being woken up to the sounds of you working in the garage. Saturday morning's in the garage seemed to always turn into a valuable life lesson that I still carry with me to this day.

Thanksgiving and Christmas aren't even close to what they were when you were here. When I would look over at you, your face was always glowing during Thanksgiving and Christmas. You loved being around family, playing with all the grandkids, and being a big kid yourself. Thank you so much for that.

Car show weekends were always my favorite. Even though wherever we went YOU ALWAYS knew someone. You were like the governor, you had to talk to and see everyone. But, that was okay. I learned so much from listening to those conversations, they also taught me patience as a little girl. You taught me the motto "Mopar or no car" and I still live by that. People always said, "Estle knew more about classic Mopar's than the factory does." I found that to be very true. There wasn't a car you couldn't fix. You often used those old classic cars to talk to people about Jesus, and what He had done for you. It was really inspiring. I also wanted to add, even though I pretended like I couldn't live through it, the oldies music really wasn't all that bad. As much as I pleaded and tried to change the station on the satellite radio, I actually enjoyed watching you "perform" while you drove. I'd give absolutely anything to hear you sing that Temptation's song one more time.

The thing I miss the most about you is your big bear hugs. You always knew when something was bothering me. When you hugged me, it made the world stop for a quick second, everything was calm for a bit. You truly were a gentle giant. A Pap hug could simply make anything and everything better.

Everyone who knew you has a unique story to tell about you. Most of them are quite humorous. I love when Nana tells stories about when you all were younger. You were such a young soul and so full of life even towards the end. You have missed so much in the three years you've been gone, I was sure to save you a seat at my graduation, I know you would've been so proud of me. I wish could've seen me graduate, go to college, and critique my boyfriends, you always loved giving them a hard time. I'll always tell my kids and everyone I come into contact with, how great of a Christian man you were and the testimony you left behind. My friends never referred to you all as Vickie and Estle, they called you Nana and Pap. That's special because you always made my friends feel like family.

There isn't a day that drags by that I don't wish I could call you up to ask you for advice on something or even just to chat. But, it's very reassuring to know that you're in Heaven watching over us every single day. You are the strongest man I ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I'm honored to call you my Pap. I hope to one day have the courage and love for God that you had. I will make you proud, this drives about 99 percent of my decisions nowadays, when I'm making decisions I often listen for your voice before I decide, "what would Pap do?" I often think about how different life would be if you were still here. Life wouldn't be the same, I feel like.

I often forgot that while I was so busy growing up, you were growing older. We think that we have so much time with people we love, but in reality, we don't. Life is precious, and we should cherish every moment that God blesses us with. I often regret things I didn't say to you, like how proud I was to be your granddaughter, and how you were my hero. Three years later, I feel the emptiness and your absence in my heart. You'll always be my Pap, and carry a very special place in my heart and soul; you influenced me to be who I am today. People that I encounter tell me all the time how blessed I am, to have you all as grandparents, it really hits home with me. You really were hardworking, and always put God and family first in everything you did. You're my inspiration to accomplish my goals and work hard. You taught me to pour my heart and soul into everything I did, and that I could do anything I set my mind to.

Thank you for always being there when I needed you, loving me when I didn't love myself, and always being my voice of reason. Thank you for being such a positive influence and role model for so many people. You touched so many lives in your short time here even after you left. I will carry you in my heart forever. Nothing could ever replace you or the memories we had together. I love you to the moon and back. I'll be sure to save you a seat at my college graduation. Fly high, my sweet angel. I know when I take a breath, I'm taking one for you.

Love,

Hootie