Dear Mom,

Loving me isn't always easy, trust me I know, but you always make it seem so easy. You never fail to say "I love you" every night, even when we argue about medication all day. I may not always say it back, but I want you to know that your strength inspires me to keep on keeping on.

I know it can be frustrating having to be in charge of dozens of medications and therapists and psychiatrists, but you handle it all with a certain grace. Most people would become stressed and want to quit, but you have never quit on me and words can't explain how much that means to me. Through all the visits and therapy sessions you keep a strong face on because you know that it is my time to be the vulnerable one.

You never make me feel judged for all the things that I do wrong or can't do because my mental illness won that day. You sit with me when the demons in my head are winning and you do the most you can, even if it's not much. Some days you are the only light I can see.

I know I have put you through a lot, attempted suicide and overdoses, but you have never let me down. It's impossible for you to know what's going through my head but you've exhausted all resources just trying to understand. I will never be able to thank you enough for still rubbing my back and telling me you love me next to my hospital bed, even though I was the one to put myself there.

Your love keeps me going. You have taught me to be strong and walk with confidence even if I'm walking through Hell, and these lessons are invaluable. As I sit here writing this, I have a smile on my face and tears running down my cheeks because for once I can say I am truly blessed. You have kept your calm and compassion throughout all my dark times and have given me strength when I ran out.

I know that now I don't live at home anymore we don't get to talk as much, so when we do talk, there is a lot I have to get off my chest, but thank you for listening. There's not much you can do from hundreds of miles away, but you still try your hardest.

I love you. And your love will help me fight my demons for the rest of my life. I cannot thank you enough for just being you and I hope you read this every time my demons make you feel like I don't care about you.