"But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." -Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You

Dear He Who Shall Not Be Named,

You're a true gem. I wanted to hate you for so long but I couldn't find it in me. I could never hate you, but I should. The way you left me, it was wrong on so many levels. You wouldn't listen to anyone's advice, and that led to our breakup. I would've supported you through anything, even jail time. Why was I not good enough for you? Was it because I'm older than you? Or the fact that my life is more together than yours? Or were you just that unhappy with me that you left me at the most opportune moment for you?

When we broke up you only waited four days before sleeping with someone. When I found out, I was hurt. How could you claim you love me and then sleep with someone else? You didn't justify your actions, you owned up to it. But did you know that caused more damage than our breakup? Nothing hurts more than being let down and realizing your love was never real. Because it was never real was it?

I never knew if you were ever really happy with me. Sure, you told me you loved me daily, but you never showed it. While you worked, I stayed home and watched your brother. And I loved that little boy like he was my own brother. You never should have brought me home. You broke a bond between a little boy and his brother's girlfriend, someone he considered a friend. He loved me, and a four year old doesn't give up love that easily, especially your brother. You could've done things differently but you didn't. You hurt so many people, but ultimately you broke me.

In the end, I'm thankful you left me. I've had my trust broken already since then and it led me to become a much stronger version of myself. I learned when to walk away from a toxic situation before it hurts you. But you know about this. You were there with me, helping me get away and making sure I was okay. But that was just to get back in my pants right? Right. I met someone great after that. Someone I could write a novel about. He makes me stronger and that must kill you inside to know someone made me something you're not.

My new boyfriend is the reason I'm writing this. He wants the best for me and holding back so much anger is unhealthy. He is helping me grow as a person and a student. The best part about the whole thing is that I consider him to be my best friend. He is a good man and he deserves everything I can give him. You didn't deserve anything I gave you. None of it. And I gave you everything I had to give.

I can't say anything really bad about you. You gave what little love you had and made me feel special at the time. But I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I wish I hated you because you deserve nothing but hate from me. You broke me, you hurt me, and you took everything from me including my courage. I became weak when I was yours but now I'm strong. I know what love is now because you never loved me like you said you did. I am no longer your little toy to play with. I am standing on my own two feet and you, my dear, can suck it.