A Letter to My Friends

A Letter to My Friends

I cannot thank you enough.
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Dear amazing people that I have the fortunate opportunity to call friends:

A lot of revealing things have come out of the past week. Writing out my suicide story, as some of you have put it, takes balls. Maybe a better phrasing of that would be that it is brave, but knowing the inappropriate context that I like to put things in, it makes sense.

You guys have not judged me for being authentically me. It gives me great pride to admit that the people currently involved in my life are here for me until the end. You guys love me for me, and that is amazing. I love how you guys think that I am cool. I think that you are pretty cool, too, so I guess that is why you are my friends.

At the beginning of summer, I was a train wreck. What many of you guys did not know is that I was a suicidal train wreck. I was so ready to end my own life. But y'all? You basically said, "guuuurl, you have a lot to live for." Joking aside, you made me feel whole again. You said, "hey, I am here for you and I love you." Who knew that three words would literally be the reason that I am alive today?

As Kenny Chesney says, "I've got friends in low places." It is so true. My friends are people from high school, college, and from my weird in between stage. Some I have known for six years, others six months. Some I met in class, others just gravitated towards me. The point is, I have felt so much love from such a diverse, fantastic group of people. I know that I will one day be able to pay you back in my Inaugural Address, but until then, I hope this will suffice.

I love the saying that "love has no boundaries." I hope you guys realize that you can come to me for anything and I will not judge you. If you need a hug, I've got you. If you want to get some dry ice at 3 AM, I've got you. No matter the circumstance, I will do anything for my friends. We all connect with certain people at the appropriate times in our lives, and I am glad we crossed paths when we did.

Sometimes, I look at the people in my life in sheer amazement because you love me and choose me. I know that I can be a lot to handle sometimes, but with you, I never feel that way. Something about unconditional love from something that is not a dog makes me feel whole.

So thank you. Thank you for the Krispy Kreme runs. Thank you for telling me to choose my future instead of what was in the past. Thank you for making me choose life instead of the alternate. Thank you for loving me and accepting me. I am so lucky to have the people that I do in my life, and I am glad that you chose me.

Love you forever,

Emily Rasch

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A Letter To My Ex-Best Friend

I wish things had ended differently.

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You were my best friend for eleven years. We grew up together, hit milestones together, and did everything together. We helped each other through our parents' divorces, the struggles of high school, mental health breakdowns, and everything else that was thrown at us. Whenever I needed a pick me up, you were the one I went to.

You were a part of my family. You could walk right into my house and no one would even bat an eye. You fought with my brother the way I did and messed with my parents the way I did. You would even text my sister. Most of my family vacations included you. I got into some huge trouble with you, but we also thrived together.

We helped each other choose outfits. I dragged you along to all my dates because I was way too nervous to go alone. We had so many nights of endless laughter over things that really weren't even funny.

You were my person.

But high school changed things. We began to gravitate towards separate friend groups. No more good morning texts, no more venting about the annoying girl in your first period that had a crush on the same boy as you. I stopped hearing about your boy drama.

And one day it stopped completely.

When we saw each other in the hallways, we pretended we didn't. Our memories faded and became just that; memories. We stopped asking each other's lunch plans and making plans with each other in general. We once knew so much about each other we couldn't even tell where one person started and the other ended. But now we're strangers.

And boy, do I miss you.

A lot of people feel bitterness towards their ex-best friends. Angry at the way things ended. I just feel a longing for the way things once were. Yes, our friendship didn't really end in the most civil way. But that doesn't take away from the years of tears, laughter, family vacations, and countless memories we made.

I don't feel angry at you, I just wish we never lost each other.

I think about you a lot. Whenever I see you in passing or on social media, I think about what things may have been like if we never parted ways. I think about how strong our friendship would have been. And it honestly breaks my heart.

I want you to know I have no hard feelings towards you. I know things will never be the same, but I will cherish our memories forever.

Thank you for being such a huge part of my life.

Thank you for not only helping me grow up but growing up alongside me as well.

Thank you for getting me through the tough times, from my parents' divorce to something as simple as a middle school break up.

Thank you for being my person for my entire childhood. You are the reason I'm here today and I will never forget that.

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