I've thought a lot about what I would say to all of you if I had the chance. Would I be mean? Would I bring up past arguments? Would I question why you left? Would I feel nostalgic? Would I want to be your friend? Would I want us to get along?
Honestly, I think I would want to feel/want/or say all of those things. But I think what's most important to me is for you to know that I am doing so much better without you.
For many of you, things were pretty toxic when everything ended. Both of us were unhealthy towards each other. We both didn't know how to properly communicate our feelings or know how to handle conflict. We both said a lot of mean things toward each other, and while I realize that some of the things you all have done to me were cruel, I also understand that I also played a part in those situations. To put it simply, we were a hot mess. And while it took a lot of time and a lot of self-care and a lot of help from my support system, I have been able to look back at all my experiences with all of you to find that each conflict became a learning lesson. I have learned how to become a better partner, friend, and companion because of the mistakes we both made. I grew up. And I hope that you have too.
Of course, not all parts of our relationships were bad. I remember all the times I laughed and felt safe. And I will never forget those moments. It's the good times and the bad times that have made me who I am today. It has given me perspective on how a healthy relationship should work, and I am proud to say that because of all of you, I now have a healthy relationship with someone who is really special. And while I am telling all of you that I am doing so much better, it's not meant to be in a spiteful or hurtful way. I am telling you this because I want you to know that I am happy and healthy and doing okay. And I wish the same for you. Because that's what we ultimately wanted, right? We both wanted to be happy. We may not have been compatible, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't still want the best for each other. And as of right now, I am at my best. So thank you for everything, for the good times and the bad, because it has only made me stronger.
