You hurt me. Plain and simple. There really is no other way to say it. We knew each other for years, ever since we were in diapers, and just in the blink of an eye you shut me out and stopped talking to me. This summer it will be almost two years. In those two years we have said not even 10 words to each other and the sad thing is, I remember every single word as it was yesterday.

I don’t understand why I still care this much. You practically destroyed me, I mean because of you I have such a thick wall built up that I don’t think anyone will be able to knock down for a long time. You gave me trust issues, I mean granted I did have them before, but now they are just magnified.

I thought our friendship meant something to you. Actually not even friendship, we were past being friends, we were brother and sister. So I didn’t just loose a friend, I lost a brother. It still hurts to this day.

I think about you a lot. Most days actually. I of course don’t want to, but it just happens. Whenever I am just chilling in my room with some of my friends, I think of how that’s all we used to do after school waiting for either your mom or my mom to have dinner ready for us to chow down on.

Whenever I drive past your house, I think about how I grew up there, just like you. I look at it and realize that my best memories happened at that house, and then I realize that they will stay there.

I tell myself pretty frequently that it’s okay to miss you and some days it is, but in the long run, I need to eventually get over you. I need to realize my memories are memories. They are in the past, not the future. I thank you for making me realize this in fact, it has really given me a better perspective on friendship. It’s made me realize that I’m not pathetic for missing you, but I came to the conclusion that I’m not actually missing you or the person you’ve become, but I’m missing what our friendship and who you used to be. People change, yes. I mean I changed, you changed, our friends changed, and we all changed. That doesn’t mean friendships have to change.

My friends are not a substitute version of you and they can’t replace you, but they definitely make the bad days good and the good days better. They give me hope for trust and love. They give me hope that friendships last and that people have each other’s back.

I must admit I do miss you, but I’ve learned that I can live without you. I hope you have a good life, and I know I will have a great one.