One of the only people who never failed to make me laugh, the one person I let myself cry in front of.

I feel weird writing a letter to you now. I feel weird even calling you my ex best friend. We never had a big falling out or a fight. We just sort of drifted off into our independent lives and left our precious memories behind us. And now the memories are all we have of each other.

It’s strange to think that we used to be such a huge part of each other’s lives and now we’re just friendly. We say hi when we see each other on campus and we make sure to tell each other happy birthday. But contrary to what you might think, I miss you dearly.

I think about you everyday.

I wonder if your anxious mind is better.

I wonder how you’re doing in school. I wonder how your mom and your siblings and your pets and your boyfriend and your new best friend are doing.

I wonder about your relationship with Christ.

I just wonder if you’re okay if your life is going the way you want it to.

I wonder if you still laugh at the same things or if I could even make you laugh at all anymore. Our memories are some of the funniest and dearest ones I’ll ever have, and I think of them when I’m down.

I think of the times we made friendship bracelets for each other, the times we went shopping and spent way too much. The times we cried over boys together and the times we made up funny voices and characters.

The late-night talks and scary movies and snacks. The times we cheered each other up over useless things that we don’t even think about now.

Neither of us has ever been the type to make coffee plans that will just fall through.

We’re not the type to act as if we’re still best friends when we’re not. We have this understanding that our time together has likely passed. We were so good for each other then, but we are so different now.

When people ask me why we don’t hang out anymore or why we don’t post pictures together, a little wound in me seems to be ripped open a little bit. I find myself wanting to reach out to you, to ask you about all the things I’m wondering about your life.

And I could easily do that because there are a million ways to contact you. But I almost always stop myself. I know there are some people in life who are made for a certain season.

You helped me grow up. You shaped me to be the person I am today.

You carried me through grade school.

And I have nothing but love for you.

I’ll always think of you when I see an episode of "Bob’s Burgers," or when I see a hipster shirt in a store that you’d surely wear, and whenever I eat cannolis.

You’ll always be a fond memory and my childhood best friend. Please feel free to let me know how your life is going because I still genuinely care.

I hope the people in your life are treating you the way you deserve. Because you deserve the world.

There’s a part of my heart dedicated to you, to our memories.

You’ll always live there.