Dear Attacker,

The nights I haven't slept, the hours I stayed up crying, and the visits I had to attend at the police station were unbearable. You caused me to have nightmare after nightmare. The only thing I could do was sit and think to myself, "What did I do to deserve this?" I had no idea who you are, and to this day, I still don't know who you are. It was so quick how you attacked my face. I felt useless, disgusted and ashamed. I didn't know what to do with myself. I would wear sunglasses and a hat to cover the marks you caused. You made me feel like this. I said to the police, "If only I waited to use the bathroom, this wouldn't have happened." The police told me I can't blame myself, that this is not my fault. If it's not my fault, why do I feel like it is? I have to go to therapy because of the damage you caused me. I have to take a sleeping pill every night before I go to bed because of you. My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD because of you. I hope and pray that you don't sleep at night for all the pain you caused me. Not only did you cause pain for me, but pain for my mother as well. This is the last thing she needs.

I asked you, "Why are you doing this?" as I was trying to catch my breath. You told me I would find out later. I still haven't found out, and it hurts to know you are still walking around free. I walk around my campus with pepper spray in my backpack because of you. People like you are the people that should be locked up for life. People like you are the ones that are criminals. You always hear about boys and girls that are being abducted or mentally/physically hurt. You are that person. You are the guy that parents have nightmares about. Parents don't always let their kids go to malls alone, I understand why. You are the reason.

For quite some time now, I've had such anger built up inside of me. I am sick of being angry. I am tired of feeling hurt. I have this feeling that I can no longer trust anyone. I may not show it on the outside, but on the inside it is all there. Thankfully, the marks on my face went away, but from my perspective, the marks will never go away. The scars are there but they are invisible. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about this scenario. You made my first semester at a new school extremely difficult for me. I tell myself every night that the police will eventually find you. I refuse to sink to a low level. I am stronger then I ever was before. I cannot let this situation take over my life. I may have broken down in the past because of this but not anymore. I will rise up.

I do not wish bad things upon anyone even if I hate them but for you, karma has a great place for you. My mom has taught me to keep moving forward and to keep my head high. I have a great support system, and I have a good amount of people in my life who care and love me. You may think "you won," but you weren't even close. I am still living and breathing everyday. I attend my classes and see my friends. I would never let you win. I won't let this affect my future, and I certainly won't let this affect who I am.

I'm a lot stronger then you'll ever be.