Dear Younger Me,

You are wise, yet so naive. At 10 years old, your life is small, but it seems big. I’m writing to help and assist you as you enter middle school and begin the rest of your life. To steer you the right way, and tell you it’s going to be a long and interesting next nine years—but it will fly. And to enjoy every moment. Even the bad ones. Because lesson one: they will pass.

I hate to tell you this, to spoil your innocence and naiveté, but bad things are going to happen. I’m not going to tell you what, or where, or when, but prepare yourself. Prepare yourself for long nights where you can’t sleep, mornings you don’t want to go to school, and days in between that seem never ending. But these days will pass. They will pass and life will resume. But within these hard times, and these long moments of hurt and pain, you will find yourself. You will find your strength and character. You will find that you’re built of resilience. As time goes on, you’ll experience these hardships, but you’ll learn more about the true hardships of the world—and you will be grateful for your own problems. At 10, you are fiery and loud and outspoken. Do not let the next nine years take this away from you. I know you won’t.

Next lesson: rejection. You are going to be rejected. Countless times. You are going to be rejected in sports, in school, by boys, and by friends. Do not let this hinder your spirit because it is completely normal. It’s completely normal for some people to be unable to see the fire and passion in you. It’s normal for people to judge you and label you—it’s only human. Do not pay attention to this. What some people cannot see in you does not discount what the rest of the world sees; but more importantly, what you see in yourself. Always believe in the fire you hold within you. Love yourself, believe in yourself, treat yourself well. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent (Eleanor Roosevelt), and I know nobody will. Be true to yourself, because nobody in this world matters more than you.

Lesson three. Do things you love. Do not neglect these things because of the hundreds of minimal tasks you think are inherently more important. Spend three hours on Tumblr finding pictures and quotes that speak to you. Read. Read books, read poems, read everything you can. Write. Write stories, write your thoughts, write nonsense. Take time to listen and digest the songs you’ve grown to love—they’re not going anywhere. The songs that bring you to another place now will do the same in years to come. Listen to them, understand them, sing them. They are going to carry you for the rest of your life. Do the things you love because they are a mere reflection of you and your soul. Do not mind others and how they feel about your passions, your loves, your dreams. These are the few things you have that nobody can take away from you.

Do not roll your eyes. Lesson four: appreciate your mother. You are hard on her, too hard. And it takes a toll. Your mother is the greatest gift you have, and if you can’t see that now, start trying. Because in nine years, you will not be with her. You will be on your own, not coming home to her comfort and grace and security every day. And you will resent every moment you wasted. Go easier on her, show her you love her. Because in a few months, she’s going to need your help. I know you’re young, but you’ll deal with it. Pretty soon, the tables will turn and you’ll have to take care of her. You will do it gracefully. And she will thank you for eternity.

Lastly, and the most important lesson I can teach you: be a good person. To the core. Be the kindest and best version of yourself you can be. Treat every person you meet with equal fairness and care. All you can do is be a good person. You cannot let people’s reactions or opinions change that. People mistake kindness for weakness—let them. You will prove them differently. You’ll learn just how big the world really is, and with that comes a slew of different people. But they are all people, and the world would not be the world without them. At 10, with catty girls and complex social structures, I know this is hard. But it’s worth it. It’s worth it because the most important thing is that you lay your head down at night knowing you’ve affected someone. Everybody faces their own troubles, and kindness goes a longer way than we depict. The most underrated thing somebody can be is a good person, and I expect you to be nothing less. Be a good person, El—because you are one.

I’m not going to tell you not to drink or try drugs (no, you’ll do plenty of both. stay away from hard drugs though, if it’s not green, it’s not clean). I’m not going to tell you to stay in school, or avoid falling in love. I’m going to tell you to take one day at a time, and live through each moment. Because you’ll learn that’s all we can do as people. As you grow, you’ll learn what matters and what doesn’t. You’ll discover the difference between the negative things that distract you from living—society values, self-doubt, expectations—and the things that enrich you. Be true to yourself, to the things you love, to your values. Do not let others deter you and do not deter them. Love your family and be good to them because their presence is guaranteed only today. Be good to others, love them as you should love yourself. The next nine years are going to be tumultuous, they are going to be confusing—but they’re going to be amazing. People will come and go, you will win and you will lose, but never lose your passion for life. When you can’t seem to find the good, create it. I have faith in you, little girl. That you will take the world by storm and leave inerasable marks. Have faith in this, and yourself. It will all be worth it one day.

Sincerely,

Your 19-year-old friend,

Elizabeth Anne Delany

One last thing: Listen to Maggie when she says stop doing the duck-face-and-peace-sign-pose on MySpace. She knows what she’s talking about.