Dear Cat Callers,
Yelling about a woman’s body will not get you anywhere with her. You are the man who our fathers warn us about. You are the man you warn your sister, wife and daughter about. Are you proud of that? Are you proud of being a reason woman are told to cover up their bodies? Are you proud of being a reason woman cannot go anywhere alone? It doesn’t matter if you didn’t touch them, yelling or whispering, it is all the same: it is harassment.
When you yell at a woman, "Your ass looks nice in those jeans!" The redness that touches her cheeks is not a blush of approval or happiness that you noticed them; it is embarrassment and humiliation.
Surprisingly enough, women do not leave the house with the goal to have you tell them they look hot or sexy. Rolling down your window and making kissing noises as we walk by doesn’t brighten our day. It makes us uncomfortable and scared even. We don’t think, "Oh my goodness! He noticed me!" We think, "I hope he doesn’t turn his car around and follow me."
Do you know the definition of cat calling?
“[To] make a whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by.”
As woman are going on and living their daily lives, the last thing they are wishing is for some man she doesn’t know to comment on how he’d like to do her. You don’t even know her name or age. You could be yelling at a 14-year-old girl; have you ever thought of that?
Where do you think you’re going to get with a woman you shout vulgar things at? You won’t make the woman’s day by telling her, "Your ass looks nice in those jeans." You won’t get a smile out of her. You’ll get a quickened pace as she moves away from you.
You may say that your words are just compliments. Why would a woman that doesn’t know you, doesn’t know your character and doesn’t know anything about you want your first words to her be sexualizing her body. You represent yourself as a man who only thinks your own sexual needs are above any woman. On top of it, you represent yourself as someone who doesn’t have any regard for a woman’s wants or desires and only has your own intentions in mind, which by catcalling shows you only are thinking of sex. No woman wants that in a man; no person wants that in anyone. Everyone wants someone who will think of their desires, wants and needs.
Women are more than their bodies, they have beautiful minds. I know you can’t see their minds or their words as they walk down the street, and I know it is unrealistic for you to see their worth from their outside cover, but I can promise you, you’ll never see their inner beauty if all you do is yell and sexualize their outsides. Women are not alive for your own sexual desires and they are not alive to be beautiful to or for you. We decide who we want to be, which is why you need to decide who you want to be. Do you want to be the man our fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, boyfriends, husbands, friends warn us about?
Sincerely,
The Women Who Are More Than Sexual Objects
