losing a loved one during the holidays

An Open Letter To My Grandma In Heaven, The Holidays Surely Aren't The Same Without You

Everything about it was perfect, even if it wasn't perfect for her.

My Grandma Bonnie absolutely loved the holidays! It was her favorite time of the year. She had hundreds of Christmas decorations and ornaments ready to go the day after Thanksgiving. Her house was like a walking into Santa's workshop. Everywhere you look there was something surrounding Christmas.

In my Grandma's house, it was anything from watching "Home Alone" to baking to feasting on a home-cooked meal. Christmas was the best in her house. I loved it.

Once my Grandma passed away, I knew Christmastime would never be the same. In our house, Christmas would still be the celebration of Jesus. There would always be a few things missing though. It was everything my Grandma did. I can still remember walking into her house the first Christmas without her. It was bare. There was one thing I wanted more than anything else- for Christmas to be the same way again.

Christmas at my Grandma's house was so special. Everything about it was perfect, even if it wasn't perfect for her. She made Christmas feel like I was a little kid every year. The smell coming from the kitchen with the twinkling lights off of the Christmas tree. Might I add the soft music in the background? It was the best.

My Grandma made everything about the holiday season seem right. Her excitement for it lit up the room! She knew exactly how to make you full, both on food and joy, and it was the best. There will never be another holiday season like it without my Grandma Bonnie.

There was something so special about Christmas at my Grandma's house. Everything seemed so right. Nothing could ruin it. Christmas at my Grandma's house was special. The hours spent in the living room watching Home Alone and crying because it made me laugh so hard is something I will always treasure. Nothing could ever beat her joy at Christmastime, and I will always miss it.

For now, though, I want to say thank you to my Grandma. Thank you for giving me precious childhood memories during the holiday season and leaving me with memories near and dear to my heart. Every time I see a Barbie ornament, I think of you. Every time I hear Christmas songs, I think of you. Every time I see trinkets as you had in the china cabinet, I think of you.


You have given me so much in my short twenty-one years of life, and I am forever thankful. Even though we no longer get to celebrate Christmas with you physically, I know you're celebrating it big time up there. You were the best, Grandma. I could never thank you enough. I'm already in the Christmassy mood just like you would be! I'll make sure to make your famous dishes this year!

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.

Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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9 Reasons Your Grandparents Are The Best Gifts You'll Ever Receive

They love us unconditionally and are always there to lend a helping hand.


Grandparents are special. They are the leaders and foundations of our families. They love us unconditionally and are always there to lend a helping hand. The spoil us way too often! My grandparents mean the world to me. The picture above is one of my favorite photos with both my mother and my grandfather when I was a little girl. They are some of the best people in my life and have always set a good example for me. Cherish them while you can because they won't always be around! Here are nine reasons your grandparents are the best gifts you'll ever receive!

1. They give the best advice.

2. They have a lot of life experience and are willing to share it with you.

3. Their smile makes your heart warm.

4. They are so intelligent.

5. They have the best stories to share.

6. They are a great example of love.

7. Their hugs are like no other.

8. They spoil their grandchildren.

9. They love you unconditionally.

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