As of right now, I am exactly halfway through my college career. I’m living in this strange middle ground somewhere between adolescent and adult. It seems to be made of paradoxes: I am 20 years old and employed, but I still live with my parents. I am levelheaded and mature, yet I enjoy being goofy and joking around. I’m fighting my way toward independence, but one of my greatest fears is being alone.
Confusing, isn’t it?
The days of being a carefree college student are about to run out and there are major changes around the corner, even though I feel like I’ve just now fully adapted to college life. Perhaps a lot of this in-between phase has to do with how society judges millennials. So often we’re branded as lazy and selfish, which is a huge misconception, and we want to prove the stereotypes wrong. We go out and try to make it on our own at all costs. Sometimes this works out well, but some of us aren’t completely ready to jump headfirst into adulthood when we’re not even out of college. That doesn’t mean we’re living at home and have no desire to be self-sufficient, it means we’re saving up, working hard, and preparing to be independent. It’s easy to lose sight of your individuality when you’re trying to prove to others that you don't fall under the stereotype of selfish, entitled millennial. When there are tons of voices telling you what you should do, it’s hard to figure out what you need to do in order to be successful in your adult life.
Life as a student is all I’ve ever known. I actually really enjoy being a student. Hopefully I’ll always be learning no matter what stage I am in life. When I look at college freshmen, wide-eyed and ready to take on uncharted territory, I see excitement for the future, a desire create a life that’s uniquely their own, and a rare optimism. When I look at recent college graduates, I see people who seem to have a strong idea of what they want in life. They are doggedly determined to live out a future that means something, they may even know what they want in a spouse or begin to start a family. Then there’s me: right in the middle. The fascination of the first year of college is long gone. I don’t even want to think about finding a spouse at this point in my life. I’m not quite ready to take the plunge and live entirely on my own, but I want to work on cultivating my sense of independence and life skills I’ll need when I am ready to live on my own. I want these last two years of college to challenge me academically and to gain as much knowledge as I can from my university.
The future is scary. I’m not going to lie, I’m afraid of screwing up and not being able to fix my mistakes. I’m confused about what steps I should take to set myself up for the best future beyond college. Overall, I’m not where I want to be in life right now. And you know what? That’s ok. There’s so much pressure on millennials to have it all together the moment they leave home, and for the majority of us, that’s just not a realistic expectation. As for me, I’m going to try to embrace the confusion of this season of life and learn everything I can from being between adolescence and adulthood. Now is the time to make mistakes and discover what we want, not dwell on aspects of our lives that don’t meet our expectations.
