In my past three years of college I felt as if I have been through the ringer. I’ve had some really great times and some really low times. I’ve also learned a lot in the classroom as well as out of the classroom and I want to share my learning experiences with you so you have a heads up of what to expect.

You are on your own. Yes, that’s a given, but you really are on your own. During your freshman year you will feel shocked that you now have all of these things that you have to do on your own, such as getting a cold and having to go to urgent care or the school nurse instead of telling mom you don’t feel good and having her figure it out for you. You’ll learn that no one is going to sit and babysit you and make sure you get everything you need done, whether it’s scheduling your classes or just simply turning in a response to an article for homework.

You will relearn this when you’re a junior and you need an internship. No one is just going to give you an internship and tell you “here you go.” You’re going to need to apply to a ton of places, buy some interview clothes, and make a resume and go out and find something. You will also once relearn it again when you’re a senior and you have to figure out what your plan after graduation is because yet again no one is going to figure that out for you.

If it doesn’t make you happy, leave it. Whether it’s a person, club, team, or whatever, truly if it does not make you happy, move on. I spent time trying to mend relationships that were toxic and truly just making me feel worse than anything. At the end of the day remember that your college experience should be the best possible time you can have, so make sure to surround yourself with people who are going to make you happy and only pursue things if they make you feel the most you.

Your parents are human. I started to look at my parents differently after my freshman year of college, not in a bad way, just differently. I started to notice that my parents were in fact human.

They struggled and fought through the tough days and not that I never saw my parents have bad days before, but I think that I lived in a bubble that I saw my parents as these infallible creatures and I just wondered how they did everything they did for my siblings and I, but after my first year away I realized that they had things in their lives that I had never noticed before or payed attention to which made me love them even more because despite everything they had to go through on a daily basis, they made sure that my siblings and I were top priority.

Life goes on when you’re not at home. This one was tough for me and to this day I think it’s even worse. I have younger siblings, so for me I think it’s harder to see my family post things on Facebook about day trips they go on and little things here and there that they do and I miss out on. The same way that your family is adjusting to you not being home, you adjust to also not being home.

Good and bad things happen despite you not being there. So, the best advice I can give you to coping with that would be to go home when the bad things happen and be there with your family and when they go out and do fun things and you’re not there, remember that they are missing you not being there. Just like when you do fun things away at school, they are missing you and wishing they could be there with you too.

College is fun, crazy, scary, tough, heartbreak, happiness, and everything in between. You are going to love it, hate it, and want to do it all over again when you’re done, I promise. Just remember to always stay true to who you are despite what others think or say and remember to not take things so seriously. You are here to study and learn, but you’re also here to grow and become the person you were made to be.