Dear Mr. Turner,
It is every parent's job, first and foremost, to nurture their children. It is every parent's job to teach their children to be citizens of the world, to have compassion, to have values, to respect themselves and others. It is every parent's job to find a balance between protecting their children and helping them grow. I am not a parent myself, but I can only imagine that it not an easy task by any means and I understand that you are doing the best you can.
But we need to talk about your son. You, and quite a few other people I'm sure, would like to take this time to laud your son, to focus on his achievements instead of his violent crimes. You would like to commend him for all his hard work, for the effort he put into his academics at Stanford and the perseverance it takes to succeed as a swimmer. I congratulate you for encouraging those successes. But that is not the part of your son that we need to talk about. We need to talk about how your son violated an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. We need to talk about how your son had to be physically restrained by passersby as he attempted to flee the scene of the rape he had just committed. We need to talk about how your son turned the physical prowess that turned him into a champion swimmer into tools of sexual assault. And most of all, we need to talk about how you don't want the rest of your 20-year-old son's life to be defined by 20 minutes.
The same 20 minutes of your son's life in which he perpetrated an act of brutality and violence, the 20 minutes you do not want to follow him until the day of his death, will follow the woman who survived his attack to hers. I understand that it must be a difficult thing to know that you raised a person who became a rapist. I understand that it is hard to acknowledge that your pride and joy, the apple of your eye, violated a woman behind a dumpster. Your child, someone into whom you poured all the love and patience and time you had to give into, is a rapist. I understand that there is no way that is an easy pill to swallow. I understand that there is no doubt a lot of confusion and pain swirling inside your head. I understand that you do not want to acknowledge that you raised a rapist. I am sorry for the pain you and your family are going through because your child chose to rape someone. I will not pretend that this can be easy on your family. I will not pretend that knowing she gave birth to a rapist must be easy for your wife. I will not pretend that it is easy for your daughter either.
I do not understand, however, how you, as a parent, can so easily brush off your son’s “20 minutes of action.” Your son’s 20 minutes of action—those 20 minutes you're so worried about changing the rest of his life—weren't his 20 minutes alone. In those 20 minutes he forever altered the course of someone else’s life as well. I do not understand how you can brush off the fact that your son committed one of the most reprehensible acts imaginable and you are choosing to excuse it and call for the world to go easy on him. I understand parenting is hard. I understand that Brock is your son. I understand that you love him. I do not understand how you, as a parent or as a human being, could ever consider attempting to downplay the horror of your son’s actions.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, Mr. Turner... but I am also utterly disgusted.
It is your job as a parent to love your child to the best of your abilities. It is your job as a human being to acknowledge that his actions are unacceptable.
Respectfully,
A girl who could have been the girl behind the dumpster.
