This is titled "An open letter to the woman who gave birth to me" for a reason because that is all you were, the woman who gave me life. I thank you for giving me life and I also thank you for signing the custody papers over to my grandparents.
You abandoned me, there were nights that I went hungry, nights that I felt unloved, worthless, and nights that I spent all alone. I saved your life once and I remember the paramedics looking at me as a scared four-year-old little girl, telling me how brave I am. I'm sure you were too high to remember that.
There are things that I want to remember about my childhood but I can't because it is simply too painful. Things a young child should have never experienced, especially from someone who said they love you. However, I never had doubts that you did not love me but I always knew in my heart that you loved substances more.
I had nothing but love in my heart for you as a child and I just knew that you would change your ways for me. Now, every time I picture you all I feel is pain, I hate the way I remember you.
Truly, all I can say is thank you because now I know exactly who I do not want to be in life. I can thank you for putting me through trials because now I feel more love than ever with an amazing mother. Now, I have a testimony to share with those who might need it and I can help people.
Thank you for showing me how messed up substance abuse truly is because now I have no ambitions to drink, smoke, or do drugs at all. It took me years to realize that I was not the issue, I felt as if I was just unlovable. However, you were the issue because you let drugs consume your life. You are in my prayers every single day and I will always love you.
With that being said, as for now, you are not welcome in my life. You had your chance multiple times. Thank you for trying though, I know that you went to rehab for me. I know it was hard for you to sign the custody papers over but thank you for doing so.
I just want you to know that the most incredible woman in the whole world raised me, I mean seriously she is amazing. She is my whole life, best friend, mom, and mentor all in one. Truly the woman that I strive to be like.
I am such a blessed and happy young woman, going places in life! Thank you for your poor choices and thank you for giving me life so I can live it abundantly. I truly do hope you are doing better now. I pray that you have turned your life around and came to your senses.
I do remember good things about you and I hold those close to my heart. I still have your shirt, yes I wear it. Your picture hangs in my room, I do miss you. I love black olives and turtles, I am sure I get that from you. I forgive you for everything you have done and for everything you put me through, truly I do. You just weren't good for me and I was not good for you.
