Hello,

You'll probably push this aside. You probably won't read this at all—considering that I've blocked your number, your Snapchat, your Instagram. I don't regret it. For two years, I believed that I had a confidant I could lean on. You were like a brother to me. You had a confidence to die for.

Freshman year, you were laid back, free-spirited and hilarious. My mother asks about you to me every day. Every day. That wasn't bullshit. Before we returned back to college, I told you if I had children, you'd be in their lives. It was genuine because I knew, regardless of your antics, you'd always have a part in my life outside of college. But, thanks to my intuition, you're finally erased.

Best decision ever.

I have a habit of forgiving people and allowing them to return to my life without boundaries. I'm gullible, easy to manipulate. Being manipulative is easy for you, huh? I tolerated your lies, false promises, and selfish ways because you have a way of charming people, and yet, you shit on them afterward. You play the victim when you're confronted. You try to justify your actions. You don't even apologize.

I had to force an apology out of you one day, and it wasn't serious. I'm not stupid.

I remember the night you said that without you, I'm lonely. You're not allowed to say I'm nothing without you.

Need I recall the night you left me on the floor, inebriated, to go to a party that got busted by police?

Oh, or what about the day you were intoxicated, and I was forced to pick you up from the hospital, knowing I wasn't responsible for you? Did I get a thank you?

All of the promises you'd make me? Agreeing to join a club with me, and eventually, you ditched me.

Expecting me to jump when you say "jump" and acting childish when my priorities come first.

Ultimately, me allowing you to sleep in my dorm because you were temporarily homeless, only for you to disrespect me in my room after I set boundaries. I won't elaborate, but what you did was disgusting and disrespectful to me. I sprayed my entire room when I heard what you did.

Leaving your air mattress in my room, without having the common courtesy to take it back with you.

Aside from all of this, I kept you in my circle because I believed there was an ounce of empathy in you. I wanted to believe that you were genuine with me. But, in the end, I was wrong.

We're on two different paths. You'd rather party and embarrass yourself at parties. I'd rather chill, discuss goals, and vibe to music. It's unfortunate because music is how our friendship developed. Take me back to when we'd have hour-long conversations about the best albums of the year, why you love Aaliyah and I'm a fan of Brandy, or what songs we should write together. But now that I look back, I hate reminiscing about the songs we'd record in the Pollock dorms. Whenever we have the opportunity to improve our music, you don't make the effort to contribute. It's either a party, a meeting, or honestly, we just don't connect.

But, I'll admit, you're boring. I ask myself, "Am I in the mood for feeling embarrassed to have a friend that annoyingly moans in public or shares conversations about the same shit we did two years ago?"

Yet, I sit there acting like I still care. Why am I forced to relive the days I, embarrassingly, danced to a song that you recorded? The song was trash, and I'm not sorry for admitting it. I spent half of my sophomore year refusing to communicate with you, and honestly, I felt motivated. Shit, my GPA drastically improved. But, whenever I'm around you, my priorities never come first, and that's why you're a toxic friend.

I don't even think you've ever considered me a friend from the get-go. I'm just someone you can take advantage of, someone you can use. You always want me around to do whatever you want. But, where were you when I needed you or I wanted to hang out? We could be gone from each other a month, and then you decide to call?

"Let's get hookah, bro," you say.

I always jump up like a kid.

You're like the bad influences on those movies or television shows. I'm always influenced by your immature behavior.

But, I'm not willing to do it anymore. I can't. I'm done. Finito. I'd rather watch you deteriorate than allow myself to deteriorate with you. I don't think you truly know what the future holds for you. I know what I want, and I need to affiliate with people that support me and have goals. Back then, it was hard to cut you off because I cared about you. But, it's not like you ever cared for me. If you did, you'd respect my boundaries, my priorities, and respect my hustle. You respect none of the above.

We all have flaws, but you're oblivious to them.

Unlike other cliché letters, I won't say I wish you well, because I don't. You don't know what you have until it's gone. A friend.

Goodbye, and forget you ever knew me.