Dear you,

First off you need to know that you're strong. I know that you bottle things up and you pretend that you can't feel pain but that doesn't make you any stronger. Sometimes it's easier to just get pissed off about life but being angry doesn solve your issues. Putting things into boxes and acting like they don't exist will only make your problems build and build until you can't handle it anymore. Sure it makes things easier for now. For now you can pretend that everything is okay, you can act like nothing bothers you. But that'll only make it worse.

You need to talk. Talk about what's upsetting you, tell people how you feel and don't hold it in. Keeping these feelings inside will rot your soul away. Open up to someone, or write it down. Letting your pain mull in your mind will only make it worse. Don't lock yourself away with your demons, let your demons go and let yourself feel the pain.

You have to let the pain in. It won't last long I promise you, just let it in. It'll remind you that you're alive, and it doesn't mean you aren't strong. Allowing yourself to experience that pain is proof that you are strong. Brushing it off and acting like you're okay only works for a little while. Eventually all the pain you chose to ignore will begin to spill over into every vein in your body. At that point all you will is the pain you ignored for so long.

Feelings are messy, they suck. But that's what makes us human. Feelings can cause problems but you have to feel the lows in order to appreciate the highs. Feelings come and go in waves, but holding them back and being angry that they exist will only cause a flood. Just let yourself feel.

So you're allowed to be angry that we live in this messed up world. And you're allowed to be upset and pissed off that you have feelings you don't to feel. What you can't do is bottle it up, or brush it off. Feelings are meant to be felt and you have to let that happen. You can lie to yourself all you want, and say that it doesn't bother you but one day you'll stop believing that. One day everything you put away will be to much. So stop. Stop putting things away, stop being mad instead of letting yourself feel.