You’re welcome. You’re now the lucky one. The thing that sucks most is that I got the unprocessed version of him. He still needed to better himself, get a job, get on his feet, motivate himself and take care of himself. You’re getting the new and improved version of him. You’re getting all the things he is now for all the reasons we didn’t work out.
He was always caring, lovable, and happy to be around. He was quiet and to himself, but had trouble coming out of his shell. I was his first or maybe second, but everyone needs that experience. Everyone grows and learns more about themselves the more they experience meeting people and the world.
I’m sure it’s happened or could happen to you. You date a guy you really like, everything is perfect, but there’s just things about him that don’t click when you think about a future or a forever with him.
For all the things you argue over or want to change, the relationship falters. He doesn’t stop drinking/smoking, he has trouble motivating himself to get a job, and work harder. He doesn’t take care of his body or go to the gym, and he doesn’t find enough time to fit you in. You don’t work out because of all these reasons, although you really care for each other and want to be together, you break up and realize the things you needed to work on yourself, only after.
He now starts going to the gym, stops drinking, studies more, gets his act together, because he lost someone he cared about deeply for all the reasons mentioned. You can love someone for who they are, but you’ve always been realistic when it comes to having a successful future.
Happiness for you means health, success, and stability and at the time that was not something he was willing to offer.
But now that he’s lost you, he’s done a complete 360. You’ve moved on but the next person he dates got the best version of him possible, the version you carved out of him from the beginning. Isn’t that the worst? For all the reasons you left him, he’s now bettered himself for another. He’s finally living on his own, creating his own success. He’s taking care of his body and health. He’s more outgoing and not shy anymore. He’s not scared of the world and you made him brave to try more. He’s molded into the guy you always wanted, but he could’ve never been that guy if you had never left him.
I know I’m not alone and this has happened to others. I’m happy he’s changed for the better. We will always look at each other and remember the times we pushed one another. Enjoy this version of him, you’ll be happy together.
