I know that deep down, every one has insecurities and things they do not like about their appearance. This is a letter to the girl with a poor body image only because I can speak from experience. I know there are plenty of men out there who struggle with the same issues, and I am not denying that. However, this is a letter to the less-than-confident girls out there.
Allow me to start by sharing my story. Growing up, I was always “bigger” than my friends. I put quotes around the word “bigger” because I know I wasn’t fat, I just didn’t look as skinny as everyone else. I had B-cups in the sixth grade, and I was always 10 pounds heavier than the other girls my age.
When high school came around, my friends seemed to stay just as skinny as ever (or so it seemed, I know now that this probably wasn’t the case) while my weight continued to increase. Especially as a young girl in high school trying to find herself, I became incredibly self-conscious. I hated wearing bathing suits and shorts. I hated the way my body looked in clothes; they never seemed to fit like they did on the other girls my age. I never thought I would get a boyfriend because I actually thought that I was ugly because I didn’t look like my friends. I was never comfortable in my own skin.
My confidence was restored at the start of my senior year of high school. My dad had started training for a half marathon and asked if I wanted to run it with him. Although I wasn’t really much of a runner, I decided to try it to get back into shape, and I lost 12 pounds. I would walk through school and get complimented on how good I looked and asked if I had lost weight. I finally felt confident, and I finally felt beautiful. I was running six miles a day on average despite knowing how bad this was for my body. I didn’t care because I finally felt good about myself.
As it turns out, all that running may have had a negative effect on my health. I developed a form of Irritable Bowel Syndrome right around the time that I completed my half marathon. Although it can’t be proven that running every day was the cause, it definitely didn’t help putting so much stress on my body.
In my first year of college, I gained about 13 pounds. I was warned about the freshman 15 but thought that if I kept running every day I would be fine. However, I soon learned that no college student has time to run six miles a day. I began to stress-eat and made less trips to the gym. The insecurities and the poor body image began to rear its ugly head again.
But you know what? I am no longer going to stress about a number on a scale. When I returned home for the summer I lost about half the weight I gained although I had originally planned to lose more. I realized that nobody can tell if you’re five pounds heavier or lighter. This obsession that girls have about being stick-skinny is not a realistic expectation and is all in our heads. Not every body type is capable of being petite. I am nowhere near fat, but I am not “thin,” and for the first time in my life, I am OK with that.
Your body was built the way it is and there is no changing that. Sure, you can diet and work out and maybe lose 10 pounds. But if your body type more closely resembles that of Demi Lovato, it is just not in your DNA to look like Kendall Jenner. There is nothing wrong with that. Thin is beautiful. Curves are beautiful. Big boobs are beautiful, just like smaller boobs are. You are not defined by your dress size.
If I have learned anything from my experiences with body image, it is that the most important thing is to stay healthy. I finally found my balance between being fitness-obsessed and being a couch potato. I try to work out as much as possible, but if I can’t that day I no longer stress about it. If you work out regularly or perform some type of physical exercise a few times a week, and you pay attention to the food you eat, then the rest will follow. Depriving your body of the nutrients it needs just so you can fit in to a size zero will not make you happy in the long run. It will begin to take a toll on your health and you will regret it.
So ladies, please cut yourself some slack. Instead of focusing on your calorie intake, just focus on being healthy. If you’re healthy, being happy will most likely follow. Although it can be hard to remember sometimes, you are beautiful no matter your size.
