My mind is blank when it comes to writing this letter. On one hand, I want to just write it and get it over with. But on the other hand, I want to take my time and make this truly meaningful to the people who have suffered through such terrible tragedy. However, I feel like I can do neither because such a topic is so difficult and almost unbearable to even put into words. It is hard to be motivated to write such a piece because I am afraid of revisiting the painful emotions that I am aware will resurface. Be that as it may, it is important for those who suffer to understand that even though we miss our loved ones dearly, this Father’s Day, we should celebrate them -- not mourn their loss.
In an unfortunate tragedy, I lost my dad just over nine months ago back in September 2015. That would make this Father’s Day the first without my dad. At this point, the shock has worn off, the grief has slightly passed and the stinging pain of his absence has faded. Still there, but barely effective. I wish I could tell you how to understand everything, but sadly, I cannot. In fact, I am going into this Sunday terrified and anxious of how the day will play out. I am past the questions and the slight comments when people ask about my dad such as “Oh! Where does your dad work?” or when people talk about their dads. But that does not mean I still don’t have frequent, unexpected moments where the tears just roll down my cheeks for no reason.
In the back of my head, I know that I will be OK and that I will get through this Father’s Day. But as someone who is slightly new to the club, I do not know what to expect. Will people be asking me about my plans with my father? Will they be celebrating their day with their fathers? Can I handle seeing people with their fathers without getting jealous or sad? I mean, I am already jealous of people who still have a father to spend every day with. The answer lies ahead and unfortunately there is one way to find out. I have to live the day and experience it. The constant propaganda and advertisements just twist the knife deeper and deeper.
Just thinking about spending this special day without my daddy, makes my heart ache. However, I will not let the idea of him not being here with me ruin the celebration of his life. Someone once told me to smile and to never stop smiling. That person was my dad. He was always smiling and singing. He rejoiced with happiness and radiated joy. I don’t want to be biased, but he was the life of the party. And for him, I will continue to celebrate. I will celebrate everything he has done for my family and the accomplishments he has achieved. My father was such an amazing man that he deserves at least that.
For all my fellow ladies and gentlemen who have lost a father, a son, a brother, a husband, or a best friend, I promise you that you have the strength to get through this Father’s Day. Remember the goodness they brought into the world and the impact they had on all of our lives. I know we miss them greatly, but at this moment, there is nothing we can do but celebrate their lives, eat their favorite food and listen to their favorite music. Remember that we are all in this together and that you are not alone. There will be people all around wanting to be there for you and to help you get through the difficult time. But I know that you are strong and will make it through with a smile.
I know I miss my daddy more than anyone can imagine. He was my hero, my best friend and my dance partner. I will never forget him and there is never a moment where I hope that he walks through the front door. I dream of him often and pray that one day, I will see him again. But until then, I will carry out him through myself and the love that he showed everyone. I challenge you to do the same and I commend you for your strength. Remember ladies and gentlemen, be brave.
Happy Father's Day, Daddy! I miss you and I love you.
