There are stages in life. There are the beautiful, spiritually uplifting, golden days. And then there are the dark, cold, musty, lonely days.

Each day since you left has been one of those days.

I know that soon enough I'll enter into that heavenly stage once again. But until then, I'm just going to try and make it day by day.

I don't have the hope of running into you or the joy of when I do. I can't talk to you or listen to you. No more calls about how you adore me. No more secret meetings under the stars just to laugh with you.

My mind always goes back to you. The breath is taken from my lungs when I remember a moment with you in it or when I walk by a place that meant something to us.

I can never walk back to your house and watch a movie with you. You always hugged me so tight. I can't get the picture of your expression out of my mind when you would look at me, just smiling and exploring my face.

The first night we met you stood over me like a wall. I pinned you automatically as a lady's man and didn't ever see it developing into what it was. A year long relationship – a year long secret between you and I. You took my number and that was it.

Once my mind was decided about you, I jumped into my car and drove as madly and as quickly as I could to your house. I wanted nothing more than to see your face.

You always told me to live my life and to be adventurous. And since you left, my heart and soul and mind have been filled with the need to go out into the world. To go explore and be more than a just college student.

I miss you and the secret whispers we shared. But I am so thankful for the time we had together and the lessons you have taught me.