Dear friend,

Remember when we were kids and we dreamed of finding our prince? Well, I never really thought about a prince, but I did think about dating someone one day. I still do.

The difference between now and then is that I know what dating is in this society. As of lately, it is something completely misunderstood by many. “Dating” is considered a label for a relationship, and many people feel as though they don’t want labels on their relationships anymore. That way, they can’t be held to anything. They can’t be tied down. They can’t be expected to act a certain way.

If you ask me, this is a bunch of “boo-hockey”, as Ross Geller would say. What I want you to know is that you will find your person one day. You will find someone that wants to date you forever. But you need to know what you’re getting yourself into when you start, or attempt to start dating. Be aware of these non-labelers so you won’t waste your time.

Stop looking for people to date you. The second you stop looking for someone, someone new will enter your life.

Stop forcing something to happen if you know for damn sure it isn’t going to happen. Even though it might be hard to let something go or to stop texting him/her or to simply forget about this person, you have to. Otherwise, you are covering your eyes to the world of people around you.

Stop doing that thing where you picture doing everything in your life with that person. This includes but is not limited to: going on dates, cooking breakfast, going to your cousin’s wedding together, or walking the dog together.

If you’re stuck in a rut focusing your attention so closely on someone, how will other people see you? What I mean by that is, how will other people be able to see what you’re like as a human being, or whether or not you are someone they’d like to know better? It is not obvious but it is noticeable if someone is really into someone. If you put all of your focus into this one person that might not feel the same way about you, you are cutting off a lot more people than you think. I am not saying keep your options open and pick the best. What I am saying is be mindful of how you are handling these things. If you are in a rut with a person, get out, move on, move up, and keep living!

Finding someone to hang out with, to go on dates with, to cuddle with, and to ultimately love is important. It is important to focus our energy on this. But we cannot let it break our entire person when one of the billions of people that walk this earth are not giving us the attention we want. I know this is an ancient analogy, but there are so many fish in the sea. When you go fishing, you might catch one for a few seconds and then release it back. Or you might lose one that you caught before you could reel it in. Or you might catch good ones, great ones, and so-so ones! But no matter what, you always keep fishing. A fisherman doesn’t sit and sulk all day if he doesn’t catch much, he tries again.

Love, your friend(who also happens to be single)